A New Life Strategy

Photo from a dear, dear friend from the ashram--thank you!!!

It is interesting to look around my pink, cement room at the possessions that I have accumulated and think,  "These items are all props in the earth drama that I just used in my role to find truth, peace, and love." And on another hand, I feel like a warrior who has been battling and battling for this place to be unveiled--relentless, often outspoken, inappropriate, brash, questioning, pondering, disbelieving... And now, I can lay my weapons down and nurture this inner place--my only weapon can be meditation and going inward.  Continuing on with the battle as I live in the outer world, but now an egoless one that requires continuous surrender and centering when I fall off my axis.  How many life times to get to this new beginning?

How odd it will seem to drive a car, talk/text/email from a phone, look at a new or old career path to "pay the bills."   The old role will be from such a different place.  I want to say, "Are you sure that I am ready to fly from the nest," but I will only know by doing it.  A huge difference will be carving out time to meditate everyday to reconnect and continue to deepen into the peace.  Now, I sit in stillness 5 to 6 hours a day, sometimes more/sometimes less.  Gurudev confirmed with a big underline, "Inward is the only true path."