The Wheelbarrow Is Back To Work

And why did I think that returning home would warrant a "softening" of the lesson plan?  The real work of completely letting go appears to be the task at hand.  More trips to the surrender pile with my trusty wheelbarrow.  I continue to laugh at myself.  What was the point of everything I learned if it isn't to apply the teachings in every situation.  I did sign up for that idea--internal peace in any situation.

While pairing down the blogs to the bare bones, I am noticing that they are paralleling my current process of applying the teachings instead of becoming aware of them.  The Divine Lesson Plan is always available if I keep my heart open.  It is clear that I am a fish out of water, so there is nothing to lose by diving into the letting go.  And with huge amounts of grace, the support team is still holding the field.  

The Truth Of Returning

(Thank you for the photo...)

Two weeks have passed and I am experiencing a lot of different emotions in the reentry process.  What has been distracting while sitting in such abundance?  I wanted to put the "Sue is the doer" outfit back on.  I have existed with that outfit for 47 years and only recently see clearly that Sue needs to be the receiver and executor of what is in the design.  Is that possible in an environment with such high living expenses and pressure for material being?  One of Gurudev's last teachings was not to confuse issues of societal demands and personal divinity.  Living in America underscores that need for "separation." When he gives advice, I have no doubt about the wisdom, but the understanding and application often takes me a while.

I have been casting my line out into the job market daily while I look at three other developing business opportunities that feel more true to my nature.  As bills come in, taxes due, and other expenses present themselves, I have tried not to resort back to fear.  It is a familiar tugging, but it is tugging on a new rootedness in the divine.  Before, the giant boulder or limit to change was fear and now fear (ego) is wanting to pull on the giant boulder of presence in the divine.  "Let Go" are the words constantly ringing in my ears.  I still have the same people holding the rope as I dangle over the ledge.  The challenge is to let go in the familiar environment.  No tricking the Divine Lesson Plan.  The sense of inner lint-disturbance was setting off the lint detection alarm.

Jai Guru!! 

Born This Way Foundation Youth Empowerment Movement

Born This Way Foundation

Answer Lady Gaga’s call to action. Join Born This Way Foundation today

I felt inspired to create something in support of the Born This Way Foundation youth empowerment movement.  After looking at the resulting clip, I realized that empowerment is needed for young and old, two legged and four legged, dark and light, Eastern and Western...  (Usually, I would ask for permission to use all of the photos, but in this case I just went with the flow.  Please don't hesitate if you want me to edit something--modern technology makes it relatively easy.)

1:45

Selfseeds Lady Gaga

The Dilemma

Interesting to hold such a deep sense of love and peace within, but be surrounded with so much unrest and violence as portrayed in the media's view of the world.  My life has been a path leading to the top of the hill. As I stand at the top of the hill looking inward, there is only a vibration of Absolute Love.  As I move my awareness outward, there is only a vibration of Absolute Love, but there are obscurations separating the Absolute Truth from being exposed.  How to move back into the stream of obscurations with such a different sense of reality than what is portrayed.

Gratitude For The Trees

Perspective

While driving out to visit one of my teachers who lives in the exquisite beauty of the Redwood Trees, I stopped to take some photos--one of my new found passions from this year.  These trees are so massive and so tall and so wise that it is hard to do justice to their true nature in a photograph.  It was as if I was at the feet of the Nature Guru and I found myself offering myself in pranam on their bed of needles and leaves shed from living as a forest.  So much gratitude for their presence in my life as a key part of a childhood companionship, as a living example of inner stillness, and as teachers unfolding the universe's state of interconnectedness.  Another coming home in a sense.  The same tears, the same outpouring from my heart, and the same sense of truth/wisdom that speaks volumes without words from the energetic field at large.

Something that I have always appreciated about forests in America is the unruliness.  They are wild forests.  Not manicured and cultivated from years of civilization, they are still raw.  I saw a lot of amazing trees in India, but they were often alone and not living in the presence of their tree family.  Experiencing a tribe of these ancient beings is breathtaking.

Sharing "The Story"

What Next?

Inviting and interesting to share "the story" from the past year with friends, family, and new contacts.  No one appears to be disbelieving, but it connects to some thread, question, or story within the individual's life.  Experiencing how western life embraces core concepts and beliefs from the East.  The underlying essence of humanity is evident.  Speaking and relating from a new understanding and relaxation around the two-legged realm (humans) is beautiful.  The question of, "Can I sit with humans in the same capacity as animals and nature," has been answered, "Yes."  Sitting with that new awareness and without any desire or attachment to the outcome is being in the grace of the inner stillness.  Just showing up as we often hear and read on the spiritual path.  Experiencing the unfolding without a need to direct or control it in any way.  I do keep casting my line into the employment pool and how to be in service, but I am savoring this new state of being without fear, desire, or attachment--ultimate freedom.

First Sitting With The Western World's Tribe

Spring's Beauty

As I went to sit down at the DMV and wait for my number to come up on the screen, I was remembering my visit to the Foreign Affairs Office and other official offices in India.  It was fun to sit with a group from the local culture and observe the diversity:  there were all shapes, sizes, ages, nationalities, and belief systems moving about.  All of us sat in chairs that were in tidy rows and I found myself drifting into "ashram mode."  The inner stillness was present, the joy was present, and even the tears of gratitude for the Divine were welling up.  I had to stay alert so I didn't miss my number, but I could have easily closed my eyes and drifted into the beautiful essence.  How different for me to feel such peace and ease with a group of unknown humans.

When I would leave my cement room in the morning, I often felt like a set of eyes in an energy field starting the walk to the gym or the store.  The assaults from the environment would prod me back into my physical form.  Because California's environment is not taxing me in the same way,  I feel like I keep oozing out of my human form into an expanded puddle-like human form.  When I have to perform exacting details, I can feel a bit disconnected and cumbersome in the execution.

Before, nature and animals were the highest bar of spiritual energy for me.  I had mentioned to Gurudev that he and Pahari Baba currently felt the same to me, but now nature didn't feel as exquisite.  He reminded me that my materialistic nature had still been in place when I was experiencing breath-taking beauty, but now everything would have the opportunity to feel a kin to the Divine Nature.  As I was photographing the flowering trees and enjoying the feel of the sun on my back, light breeze blowing, and the stillness of the aging tree, the depth of my heart began to tingle and expand outwardly in the lovely way I experience in Gurudev's presence.  His words of wisdom came washing through me as delicately as the breeze.