Monday, September 21, 2015

New Territory

Bike/walk path through vast vineyards
Fascinating to watch the highs and the lows of this path. A new high appears to give one capacity for a new low and a new low appears to give one an opening for a step forward--and around the spiral staircase one goes. Contemplating the Pope's journey and walking provided an insight into how to move beyond tolerance and acceptance. The resonance of these two states doesn't match what I have experienced in recent inner events. The bar was moved inwardly, I was able to sit with this for a month, and now it appears the bar is meant to move outwardly. Now, to see what happens when applied in the three containers. My brain says ludicrous and my heart says a must. New territory. The ego layer has fear and doubt. The deeper layer looks forward to capacity building Absolute Love.

Saturday, September 19, 2015


I looked at the statue and then I turned and looked at the sky...
My daily 2 hour walk to the Jesus statue is setting a lot in motion--madness in the presence of nature's beauty.

Timely article and a must read:

The Pope's Dark Night of the Soul

"The man or woman who consciously takes charge of his exile suffers a double loneliness," Bergoglio writes.

They are lonely amid the crowd, strangers in a strange land. But they also taste a spiritual loneliness, "the bitterness of solitude before God."

This isolation is felt most acutely in prayer, Bergoglio writes, when the exile sets himself apart from others -- in the quiet of a dark chapel, perhaps, before his brother Jesuits have awoken.

The exile also feels this isolation in prayer itself, when he contemplates the distance between his desires and God's plans.


Same daily routine only the details differ: quality of food, ease of acquiring food, place to sleep, safety of place to sleep, having currency through work or money to pay, activity of some sort, interactions either planned or random, transition of the light, influence of the weather, inward reflection, outward manifestation, and so on. 

Wednesday, September 16, 2015


Beautiful statue at turnaround point
Early morning glow
New two hour walk
Summer houses
Full sized Hobbit buildings

Sunday, September 13, 2015


Dusk walk
From buckets to living containers at the moment. As I walk in the Hungarian container, contemplate the Indian container, and prepare for the work container in Southern California, I can finally grasp the simple coping mechanism of tolerance/acceptance. Each container has its bandwidth of living options, so I keep looking at how to stay in alignment with the spiritual path and t/a appears to be it. The ceaseless journey of the inner work. The thinning of the veil between the outer and inner state. Amazing the flood of shakti for twenty-four hours that followed this realization, but then back to trying to live from this point. No doubt more to come. I hear Gurudev's words of wisdom, "Let Go."

(My containers are chosen and with abundance while I continue to observe the current mass human migration. Having grown up in the San Francisco Bay Area, a very liberal point in the world and melting pot, I am not sure I would have understood intolerance and separation without so much world travel and living in a variety of countries and conditions. How to understand differences beyond a mental construct, my design appears to be to touch them. Do I grow or contract with this opportunity for capacity building? At least I have an approach and the freedom to shift containers if needed. My last container had an intolerable level of violence, so gratefully, I could step away.)

Day 6 Nador: longing with side reins, work in hand, flexions, 1/2 mounting. Made a mistake yesterday, so I see how careful I need to be.

Walking and running in the fields twice a day is wonderful. Enjoying working with part of the riding community and getting to examine my own evolution on the horse path. The work on the second book is continuing to weave in and out.

Night water and feed

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Human Migration

(Photo from CNN: Private citizens in Hungary stop to offer food and water to the walking refugees.)
What is different about reading about the human migration from California versus Hungary? It is only fifteen miles away. Always a profound teaching to live in foreign country and experience the history and unique vibration. Hungary's postwar recovery was different then Austria's and Germany's. Their recovery aide came in the form of guns from Russia, a political dictatorship, and forced cooperatives. Austria and Germany benefited from the Marshal Plan, so they recovered with a different economic fervor. Budapest is an elegant city, but shows the fatigue of war and a challenged economy. The people are resilient, but are also supporting a high population of Gypsies. Adding the human migration to an already challenged environment is part of the current turmoil and building of a fence. It wasn't too many years ago that "the fence" came down between the East and the West.

I have visited Hungary on and off since 1987. I always sensed the different texture of ex-Eastern block European countries vs. a Western block European county. When I compare and contrast this to India, I see what a stress the sheer number of humans has on the environment. Hungarians still have farms and space, but they have the memory of war and a slowly encroaching government control.

Part of a recent news article:

They (a Serbian aid worker in Hungary) remember war.

"One day you are handing out aid, the next day you can be receiving it," a Serbian aid worker told me. "The starting point for any conversation or debate about helping and finding a solution needs to start with that notion. That this can be any one of us."

Compassion for the individuals in the human migration. The movement to a new country is only a step. Securing a place to live, work, and proper paperwork is only a part of what is to follow.

Day four Nador: longing with saddle, bridle, side reins, work in hand, poles on the ground, and starting to prepare for mounting. 

Monday, September 7, 2015

A Quote

"A self that goes on changing is a self that goes on living."

 Virginia Woolfe

Nice quote sent to me. Sitting on a bench out in the garden, sun coming up, birds making morning noises, cup of coffee, new running shoes on ready for bounding around the neighborhood fields, dogs at my feet, and the adventure of life unfolding. Excited by the new horse. New projects already showing up, people to teach, horses to sell, and more.

Contemplating the transition


Peaceful walking with only the sound of the wind, my feet, and my breath. I have found a good track to run and walk that is safe and out the backdoor of where I stay.

Nador: I begin the system of training him 4-6 times a day to engage his mind slowly and repetitively. He is very athletic, sensitive, and intelligent, so this system will probably suit him well. The footing and lack of fencing will also encourage a more systematic process to further reduce errors.

Day 1: brushing, longing, bridle, hand walk on the property.

Saturday, September 5, 2015


Bodega Bay, California
Amazing countdown and transition to Hungary, etc. Check marks in a lot of areas. Wonderful to walk and talk with friends.  Two months each in Hungary and India, and then starting a riding/teaching job in Indio, California (January 2016). The ever shifting containers. Going to meet my new horse and try out a new training approach. The flow...

Intense lucid/dream experiences that without a doubt reverberate throughout my wake state. Thinning of the exterior scaffolding, but still able to function most of the time. I am constantly in awe of the mystery unfolding. The reflection from the outer world of the different place I live from internally is periodically tested and continues to gain ground as a state of being. The interaction in the outer world is the wave lapping onto the beach and then the return to the depth of the ocean. Spiritual teachings, stories, and insight from the various religions continue to support this transformation on a mental level. The wave of intense experiences feels like a call to India and a preparation for what transpires in the presence of the ashram. Then back out into the outer world to digest and find an equilibrium in the new awareness.

I constantly raise my hand to be a cave dweller, but it doesn't appear to be my design. The opportunity to travel and live in different countries is a privilege. Witnessing the day-to-day living, the vibration of each culture, and current affairs is fascinating. To observe the stream of refugees leaving Syria, traveling through Hungary, and finding their way to other countries for relief and hope. Who can blame them, but how to deal with the mass human migration?