Sunday, August 23, 2015

Walking Half Marathon in San Francisco

Golden Gate Bridge


Perfect day to walk the half marathon in San Francisco. I always feel a sense of thankfulness to be here, but the weather and company were perfect as well.  Finalizing the details before shifting once again. Going to investigate horse training and international sales in Hungary before heading to India in October?  

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Stop Trying To Climb

There is potentially a lot of ego in climbing. As I examine my next step, direction, and options, what do I see as an approach that tends to lead to pain? Climbing with my ego leading the way. I can better understand that trying to "be the best" led to some really cool knowledge, tools, and helped developed  self discipline and will, but not inner peace. Learning techniques and methods for the sake of humaneness, insight, and communication have led to stillness and a bridge to peace. As I reflect on the two part circle theory that Gurudev feels is representative of life, there is no linear path/climb. Patience, presence, and "Let Go!", since it is all part of a large cycle. A major part of the early belief system and scaffolding are ready for further remodeling. The ladder, roof top, and so on were metaphors.

Sunday, August 16, 2015

Spiral Staircase of Patience

Sir Galahad, 20 year old Thoroughbred gelding

Okay, so I have patience when training horses and riders, but not for my daily life. Homework.

I was wondering if there could be a major fracturing without pain. Now, I can say yes. The recent night/dream experience was life changing, but it appeared as an offering of support rather then an opening from a point of despair. Grace.

Spending time looking at videos of Olympic dressage riders from the past, Nuno Oliveira's training, classical riders, reading classical training books etc. as I sit with the state of horse training in the modern world. Looking forward to teaching in Hungary. Really enjoyed examining the basic riding behind the jumping community. Watching the old videos is reminding me of my roots and why I am satisfied with where I have evolved in my training approach. The horses and riders are my daily teachers. The second book is very timely as a voice for the horse.


Saturday, August 15, 2015


Evening walk in Modesto
Almond orchards are vacuumed in preparation of harvest
Marker one: a brief experience of the outer state and inner state matching, but still while functioning as a body. It was if another layer of the exoskeleton was peeled back. I have been asking what I could let go of to thin the separation of the inner and outer state. Nice opening to another state of being.

Marker two: a dream so graphic, so real, so powerful, so mind numbing, so inclusive of every aspect of my life, so... that I was dazed when I woke up. "Let go! You are the Self and in the lap of Divine guidance." was my only translation? It appears that my capacity for dreams has also shifted? Fascinating all of the access points to Source through our limited perception.

What next? No idea except that all roads appear to be leading towards a trip to India at the end of September.

Everything in storage, next job unknown, a window of time after teaching in Hungary, and the freedom to follow the magic carpet.

Hospital entrance

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

The Destination

As Iqbal says:

'I wandered in the pursuit of my own self; I was the traveler, and I am the destination.'

Sunday, August 2, 2015

Cross Reference

Thank you Joel for the photo update.
My only chance to walk in the outer world without caving to the toxicity of its perceived nature is to be diligent in my cross referencing to the spiritual world. It keeps pulling me up by my bootstraps, dusting me off, and saying get going with peace, love, and joy. I don't know if I would have had the fortitude to do it through only reading about It and not touching It through the depth of experience while meditating and walking. And of course, observing, sensing, and learning from a being who can walk the talk. Thank you Gurudev. Tears. This is my true homework assignment. 


Photo from a very dear friend--nice timing!
So if it is all One, what is violence? As I examine it, I now perceive violence as an indicator for one's inner awareness and ability to feel love. At this point in the journey, I know that we are all connected by our inner state of Absolute Love and Truth, but the manifestation of it is often obscured. Understanding the true nature of violence and the range of its expression could have only come post teachings from the ashram. Gratitude.

While examining violence towards horses, I reflected upon the dog, the fish, the dying man, the elephant, the children, trash filled waterways etc. and knew there was something for me to better understand in the depths of violence. Capacity building 101! Now, compassion and forgiveness can be in the same space with it. Stubbornly (thank you warrior nature), I knew that I had the resources to find a link to Oneness through violence, but I had to move through the obscuration of ego, history, judgment, and familiarity. Yet another stone falling out of the sack I carry as I walk. Grace.