Dreams are not usually part of my awareness, so when I have the same one two days in a row, I took notice. A black horse standing with his head down on the ground, exhausted, eyes closed, sides heaving, minimal life force, despair, and subject to the human's work plan to a point of survivable exhaustion. Tears spring to my eyes from the depth of my heart as I sit with the sense of these dreams. The first night I talked to the horse from the inner world and consoled him from inside. The second night, he was worse, I was sobbing, holding his head, and sitting with the depth of the human insanity plan for the innocent and defenseless. Troubling, but what was the symbolism? When I sensed Black Beauty and his story, recognition flooded through me. When I had been discussing the soul of the horse with Señor Valenca, he reminded me of the story of Black Beauty. As I have looked at sale horses for the past two weeks, I have come to terms with the unpleasant current fashion of how horses are trained for sport.
As I have traveled, talked with the riders/professionals from this trip, and exchanged ideas on the current state of affairs for horses, it stirs something deep within them and they recognize the value of training humanely. It isn't always easy to try to follow the path of truth and right action, but I see now how humans do respond. The interviews have given me a deeper sense of the human's essence, so I feel safer in their contact now. If I didn't have the inner sense learned from my time in India, I wouldn't have had the fortitude to open to the humans who are walking a disdainful path in training. Of course, it helps me to have the presence of the horse reminding me to keep my heart open and not to give up on the art of riding. Little by little--there is an effect without grandstanding or trying to convince others. Just walk the talk, offer help if requested, and let the inner sense of the human open while I keep working on my own homework list.
What an amazing lesson plan for this two-legged. Once again, the horses are my place holders for learning about self, humanity, and the spiritual path. Now to grow and continue with the work as Gurudev directed. How was a question and what, but the way is opening and the platform--at least for now . Incredible and to think I will be in the ashram in three days! A month ago, I was almost blacking out and vomiting from watching the horses subject to training for sport, so it is a relief to have a way to be, move, and stay in alignment with what I have been learning the past 5 years while in service to the others (four and two-legged). The two bucket system converging into one is still working.