Friday, December 23, 2016

Check Mark Or A New Opening

Riding involves a circle of aids (seat, legs, and hands) for it to work harmoniously with the horse. I have dedicated my life to finding a humane way for this to operate between horse and rider. Today, after a year of riding/teaching at Tahquitz, I was able to convey the final piece of this information for the foundation of riding to a professional who has dedicated her life to trying to find a kind way with horses. It was a remarkable moment for both of us. She could feel and understand the freedom it allows the horse within the circle of the aids. Now, I am clear that the madness that has been consuming me is possible to create in the horse and through a student. Our life works intersected to create a transitional moment for both of us. For me, it is a big check mark which could end in completion or a new opening. The depth in the morning sitting gives me the patience to accept not knowing, but to just keep a steady rhythm while paddling in the river.

Part of my morning inner work is to invite a horse into my deeper awareness. I have no idea how it is going to manifest, but this morning, someone nudged me. Not sure who, but it took me by surprise.

I still follow international news and politics. A lot is going on is an understatement and a lot is up in the air is equally an understatement. Homework for walking in inner peace is plentiful. Living such a blessed life, but it takes self discipline and grace.

Holiday Cheer!

Monday, December 5, 2016

me to Me

After the basics of the me requirements are met (nourishment, shelter, and safety) what is important? The journey of the Me. Me is the extension to the Oneness with consciousness. It is the part that is crying out for the scaffolding to be shifted, so liberation can unfold. Sitting every morning is helping me to recognize the priority list. Almost six years ago, the me was in agony and looking for something else. The something else is the Oneness, but the points of separation continue to need pairing back, adjusting, and letting go.

Service to the Oneness helps me to see the limits of my design, history, and mode of operation. It is all about deconstructing patterns. The work with the horses has always shown me this. Deconstructing their mind, body, and energy patterns allows them to return to the peace of grazing state while in a human environment. Learning to help horses at a trigger point level has made this more clear.

Am I any different? No. Grace of the homework assignments. Awareness of the Oneness in deep meditation has exposed me to the True Nature of Me. Shifting back into the outer construction is the reflection of how separated I am, but now I can live with the unwavering contact to the deeper awareness while moving about in the outer reality television program as an actor. A lot of time alone to sit in stillness and contemplation is fortifying my practice to stay in awareness while living as an actor. Abundance with health, wealth, and quality of life is minimizing the outer distractions, so I can focus on the depth.


Monday, November 21, 2016

Homework Clarification

Santa Barbara, California
I have been sitting in stillness every morning. Moving from this point on to work has been a different point of integration and study then going from stillness out into local India. Opening to the depth while living in the West. The "buzz" of the spiritual realm is always present, but adding depth development on a daily basis is new. It provides a stronger fortification to live by the principles of Absolute Love and Truth. Thoughts and actions not in alignment are more quickly identified and redirected. Grace. My latest homework assignment is taking on new meaning and new passion. Walking with less and less scaffolding, but it is an adjustment. Thank you Wise Woman of the West for clarification and link to the bigger picture.

Another point of clarification has been the diversity of how we practice and what we experience during our practice. Gurudev had suggested a homework focus, but carefully explained that the manifestation of it would be unique to me. When I talk to people who have spiritual practices, it triggers some questioning of my own practice or lack of practice. I try to walk the talk and practice every minute that I am awake, but I don't have a practice with a mantra, string of beads, candle, etc. All steps or bread crumbs? Nothing needed if nothing is needed? Okay, so back to sitting and letting whatever wants to unfold or however. Discernment between the ego and the official downloads.

The view out one of my windows.

Monday, October 31, 2016

Two-legged Study

The inner stillness is pointing towards opening more fully to the study of two-leggeds. They have always been a part of my life study, but the opening to the individual stories and cross-referencing to what I have been learning is taking on a new intensity. It is continuing to shift the scratchiness by  reducing the points of separation, intensifying the inclusivity, and continuing to open my heart in a way that is guided from a new well. 

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Holy Hell

Holly Hell, the name of a documentary recently released that covers over twenty years of an American spiritual center that was guided by a narcissistic, porn star posing as a guru. The people who were attending the center as disciples were often loving, service oriented, and looking for inner peace. People sometimes wonder if I am involved with a cult where I will eventually be asked to drink Koolaide of some sort. I was waiting too for the first three years, but I now know that the path isn’t about someone or some “thing."

The new homework assignment is making me more acutely aware of the vast scale of where people live from interiorly. If Gurudev hadn’t gently been encouraging me to G.O.D., I would be overwhelmed and stymied by what I am glimpsing, yet there still is no going back. Taking the steps I know from the past six years, I put one foot in front of the other, live in alignment to the shifting inner awareness, self talk “Bring it on!”, and embrace the uniqueness of it all.

Working on offering Selfseeds to school children. New territory, but remarkable to look at planting a seed, empowering youth, and support growth. Getting a lot of support from the Universe.

Selfseeds for the Equestrian is unfolding nicely as well. Looking at launching it in New Zealand and Hungary.

Nador is doing great and I am having a ball being part of his growth.

The weather in the desert is lovely. The people from Canada are starting to migrate here.

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Next Stop


The work in India has already been put to the test in the West. Awesome to feel the place of inner peace as a reflex instead of an effort in a shift. Plenty to do and looking forward to diving into this next homework assignment.

The drive from Colorado to Southern California was beautiful. Nador is transported in two days. The work with Selfseeds was transformative for the facilitators as well as the participants. A new door is opening.

Friday, September 23, 2016

Looking and Sensing Through The Lens

Fabric of Humanity

One of the camels
The lessons from living in such a diversity of countries has been remarkable. Like a family or friends that you don't see for a while, there is a sense of community as an individual who even just drops in yearly. This is the sixth year that I have walked the streets of Jaipur and I have a community: the bottle collectors, the Babas, the elephant people, the camel people, the school children, the shop keepers, the exercisers, the hill people, the going to work people, the road workers, the tent community, and people who just see me on a regular basis and wave.  Without the living and walking at such an intimate level (I have done this wherever I have lived...), I couldn't have gotten to know the oneness of it all. We are all just two-leggeds living out some variation of survival on the Earth.

In India, starting as a white, woman walking with a shirt that said money or sex, to a white, woman walking who is here with a spiritual intention has been a remarkable teaching. I never had an intention to fit in, I just wanted to survive, focus on my inner work in the ashram, not get sick, or be molested. To see this community grow without intention, just presence of being my self, setting boundaries, consistency, and staying the course is fascinating. It has even started to happen in Carbondale, Colorado with the pattern I have of working at two ranches, gym, coffee shop for wifi, and the grocery store. A community is started through eye contact, patience, routine, and small interactions. I think of myself as being invisible, but I am not. People are watching, assessing cues, and taking action accordingly. I am part of the community whether "invisible" or not.

Every day, four times a day, I talk to a particular camel who is tied alone. He has a very damaged nose, so I talk to him and wish him well every time I pass by. He knows my voice now and lowers his head towards me, (I don't know camel language, so I am hesitant to try and touch him), so simple. Now I better understand that it is that simple with two-leggeds as well. A head nod to the man who pushes his bike up the hill with full jugs of water while I am finishing my run down the hill. A wave to the man who drives down the hill with a loaded motorcycle of cut grass as I walk up the hill. An exchanged smile with the woman who is going about her morning chores as I walk by on the street.

Something about this new homework assignment to move more deeply inside has softened the exterior world. I have been given permission to make it my secondary focus, but still interacting from the vibration of what is growing inside. Another veil has shifted. Feeling very blessed to feel this sense of oneness from now the outside as well as the inside. Beautiful conversation about it with Gurudev and he also helped me to see the oneness of all exercise as yoga whether sitting on a mat with an awareness of breath or running up the hill with an awareness of breath. Breathing and living. More circles.

Sorting through the stream of refuse in a local waterway

Morning rituals as part of the morning fabric

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Living Grace

Living Grace
Phone intervention
Deep contemplation
Anything is possible when the newspaper is up.
More Grace
I couldn't help but post all of these knowing there are people around the globe who don't have the chance to visit Jaipur, but would love to have a current photo of Gurudev. Grace. Pranam. 

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Language of Silence

Cooling off
What a beautiful concept--I am going to become a more focused student of the language of silence. While sitting in the ashram with the presence of Gurudev and everyone focused inwardly, the inner texture is exquisite and inebriating even with the distraction of traffic sounds, power saws, humans coming and going, and more.

Heading home--me too!

Monday, September 19, 2016

Unstacking Homework

Excited for the new homework assignment! In the West, it is always about mentally stacking and being good at it. Now to spend time where the mind doesn't stack! This is going to be like reverse or inside-out living. The place is familiar, but I haven't made a point to live from there. What an incredible journey! More grace! 

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Walking Home From the Jaipur Airport

Only a three hour walk, but it was a nice reminder of the city and the architectural diversity.

Noticing that sitting in the ashram and walking outside are more similar in a strange way. A band of energy with different obstacles floating in their respective streams.

Visited a Baba on the hill who I walk by periodically. Still interesting to experience the different beings who live with orange clothes.

Saturday, September 17, 2016

Fortification for the Disparity

Just finished a book on the current state of affairs for elephants.  Elephantoms

Reading a book on the current state of affairs for Muslim women.  Infidel

Liquid gold is the touchstone as I examine the current state of affairs. How different to read about both while living in direct contact. It helps to provide a mental construct for the felt sense I experiences daily. Ugh! Darker then expected. Agonizing reality.

Was asking Gurudev about reading the Quran, so I could better understand the religious differences and it resulted in a quiet stare and sigh! He talked about the state of humanity, religion, and how FEW can walk a true spiritual path.

The enormity of it is staggering. Feels like living as something to grind with a pestle at the bottom of a mortar. Nice to have this awareness opened after the visit to the homeopath in Mumbai.

Happy pig
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The Saudi women tweeting for their freedom @CNNI
Women in Saudi Arabia and their supporters around the world have been posting to social media, calling for an end to the country's male guardianship system. 

Sunday, September 11, 2016

Liquid Gold

A new statue
To sit and experience something so intense that I can only refer to it as liquid gold. It takes over the entirety of my inner core. Motionless, minimal breathing, subtle exterior awareness, and held in a freeze frame of sorts by this inner state. The drill is familiar. The new states are often unfamiliar, but walking down the street afterwards is still possible.

Saturday, September 10, 2016

Veil Construction

A view from the room. The new and the old side-by-side.
The mental fabric of the veil construction is more evident as layers shift. The outer differences hold us hostage from a shared inner peace. Each person opening to the awareness of this deep truth on a schedule only known to destiny. The challenges of a white, woman, walking are real and surreal. Discerning between the need for action or need to let go. Nothing new, just one of many to follow the inner path. What grace to sit with the current of this inner awareness.

Friday, September 9, 2016

Three Point Plan

How could one know what one doesn't know? Time to sit, walk, and sleep in the inner immersion plan unpacks remarkable lessons. For the past year of riding, I have pondered how people don't feel, sense, or recognize the disconnect in their riding. Why should how we move through life be any different? It is all relative. Yesterdays events stirred the spiritual heart which lead to a new opening in resonance, and now a new understanding of truth. The three point plan has been my path now consistently. Clarification opens a door for compassion, tolerance, and patience. One of those OMG moments from the dream state. Continuing to learn from the obvious, Absolute Love, and Absolute Truth. 

Bubble Wrap Lifestyle

Grazing along the roadside

Sweet face 
Hopefully retired
Of course, I have to see something that digs into my heart, so that I get a nice jolt to keep working on my spiritual heart. No blacking out, but the heart harpoon effect. My most tender spot is definitely the horse. So much for always living in the bubble wrap lifestyle. I was just wondering if I was getting the swing of walking in India. Nice job Universe!! Horse messenger 101.