Saturday, August 30, 2014

World Of More

Me, Pal, and nature--I am in the zone.
The physical world of materialism is inevitable with having a form and needing to find food and shelter.  How much do each of us need and what do we need?  What happens in the procurement of goods and services? Having grown up in such abundance, part of my journey appears to be removing the scaffolding of wealth and examining life in its simplicity. My motivation for working now isn't to acquire the dream, but to be able to eat healthy food, live in a safe place, drive reliable transportation, have the option to seek health care for my body in its entirety, and have a some surplus for the unexpected.  Knowing this is possible is more then what a lot of people have. I live touching the world of more, but now I see it as the fun, the disease, or the bond.  What a teaching to work in three different jobs that are about service, but driven by different levels of desire: global corporation with share holders, small private business with customized/specialized services, and a private individual with specific dreams.

How to operate from a point of consciousness while falling down and standing up within the three work zones? The huge difference is my new reference point--what I am learning as an internal state from meditation and the Divine Genealogy.  The inner state is my only chance at peace.  The multitude of opportunities for shifting from this place is evident while starting with breathing and moving outward.  Grace to know of a way with Truth and Love as the anchor while falling down.  What is falling down, but a transition to standing up.

Me and an early toy--beginning of the Kewpie doll collection.
Designating this year to see friends and family from around the world has been awesome. Reconnecting to a brother that stepped out of the family for a long period of time.  He thanked me for reaching out, but it was my inner drive to touch all points of darkness or unfinished business as I know from Sue's perspective. Seeing people I haven't seen in thirty years. Early October, I have the privilege of meeting my birth parents. I will see the couple who helped me in my early years of dancing and are both approaching ninety--the conversation, their voices, and the kindness are timeless.  Sue's two-legged spiral staircase; photo albums to remind me of the earlier part of the journey.s  Planning to take a spin on the dance floor with a past dance partner. Receiving wonderful updates on Jaz and the perfect new owner.  Observing how we are all trying to be decent human beings and how the perspective/story is to be understood before it can be judged.

Feeling an impulse to go into living silence, but now is probably not the time. The exquisite state of the self cave is calling.  To lie on a grassy knoll, in the sun, and close my eyes for a moment while on break--Pahari Baba as I know him in photos appeared. Tears of what is ever present.

Grade school photos
Still stirring the Selfseeds pot....

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Beauty In The Backyard

Point Reyes Lighthouse, California

Fog rolling in--a shift.
Wonderful day with a being consciously on the path--thank you!

Tuesday, August 12, 2014


How does one truly view one’s self? Learning that the only view which is important is the view from the depth of my spiritual heart. Living from a context of honesty, compassion, patience, love, integrity, truth, and kindness appears to be the outer manifestation of one's inner alignment to true nature. Working in a new environment, I see more clearly that this is what matters. 

Learning that my perception of myself is often much harsher than my outer world perception. I give myself a low grade at my new job while my supervisors are complimentary. Another opportunity to examine a facet of myself and a place of separation from my truth. How easy it is to plant a seed of judgement… 

Learning about the edges of human reactions and boundaries. If I move to the inner recognition of the formless, I don’t provide a contact point for someone to manipulate or react off of.  The expansiveness has no edge.  An unspoken offering of peace. an unbound state of being to share in the presence of others, and a touchstone to what is the essence of the manifested. The moth to the flame. The form to the spirit. How beautifully the material world provides a reflection form which to learn about one’s true self. 

The spiritual path continues relentlessly unfolding, pulling, plunging, and voraciously consuming the falsehoods of my perceptions.

My plan is to return to India in February. 

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

The Prize

The Prize
No expectation vs. expectation. Learning from the stream of participants at the failr. People play for the reward and are often disappointed. Rarely playing for the experience of playing or satisfied with that aspect first and then a prize becomes is a bonus. Looking for a reward. Is this the thread to greed? Desire? And more which creates a clear objective or obstacle course for the participant. Incredible opportunity to examine human desire and expectation from such a simplistic level.  To observe it in children and in adults. The seed of suffering from the point of the mind?  

Working for something creates an expectation. Working in chaos stimulates a diversity of human reactions. Loading boxes at high speed and accuracy is not for the faint of heart. To live in the eye of the hurricane for a few hours every morning and then to step out. Life training?

How different to follow directions then to create a direction. 

Witnessed a few different moments of heartfelt human behavior that brought tears to my eyes and a sense of such exquisite inner beauty with a few of the fair participants.

Next door booth
View from the booth
Small change and how different the view becomes.

Friday, August 1, 2014


Humans come in such diverse capsules.

Humans often have conversations from two talking points. Training horses teaches one to find the middle ground.

Experiencing humans under stress.  They act out in various ways.  Horses under stress act out in various ways.  

Where to be in the presence of human stress?  In my self cave. 

Living without any places to hide in addiction or "band aiding choices"  leaves me no where to escape the flow of outer life. Deal with it all as it moves as my path. With the overall living environment being less stressful physically, it would be much easier to coast and not continue with the self inquiry.  

Not so unexpectedly, I am learning daily with the two new work environments of UPS and the local county fair.  I see the opportunity for distraction, but it is co clear once again that it is my choice wether or not I take the bait and lose contact to the self cave. 

What place, thing, person, or event is worthy beyond the Oneness to pull me into the illusion? There is a choice, but the unpleasant feeling of separation is a quick, clear reminder to not lose focus. More clarity from the new challenges of being pulled to move outwardly and the choices we truly have. What would take me away from the self cave now?

Are boundaries necessary when it is all One?  Examination of the two bucket system and how it integrates into one again. When the need for a boundary appears, is this the clear junction of oneness and separation or is this part of the illusion as well?  Is there a difference between creating boundaries from a point of oneness vs. creating boundaries from a point of the ego?

The body and mind as the outer capsule of the soul's path.