Monday, October 27, 2014


Sometimes I giggle at what a simpleton I am. I was pondering why the expansive state of stillness, love, and truth as the individuated soul is so peaceful. It is beyond the mind, so there are no thoughts/disturbances and only an observer.  My mind has been waiting for an access point to emerge with some contact to this state where it is disengaged/jobless. Identifying the why with words is probably the only job description it will find. Giggle.

Interesting to sense the depth and ease that I connected with my birth mother. Is this what people feel at the core essence of the mother/child relationship:  a spiritual passenger inside the womb of a spiritual being, so the bond is through all planes of spirit, mind, and matter.  As I sit with this amazing spiritual state of inner peace, it feels familiar as I reflect on some new deep awareness I have from making the connection with my birth mother. As a form in gestation, one knows the form without thought and with the observer.

Intriguing reflection on a past meditation image that arose with me in a womb inside of Gurudev and he then turned into the Virgin Mary. It was startling at the time, but now there is something in the texture that is shared with my birth mother. A felt sense beyond the mind. Quite tranquil and profound.

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Diwali From Afar

Diwali-photo from a friend
As I prepare to send a note to Gurudev, it is amazing the depths it takes me to. Another veil that is in place while not living in his presence. Is this necessary? It wasn't appropriate to sink to the ground with streaming tears in India, so I am thinking it is the same in America. Meditation has taken me to the place where Gurudev had said it isn't appropriate to go while in public. Another part of the learning curve. Signs that my spiritual awareness in training is coming into alignment with what I experienced at the feet of the Master? Grace.

There is "pain" but it is felt in the isolation as a two-legged walking in the Earth's Insanity Plan and now knowing there is so much more. Watching others spiral, falling, twirling, and more without the knowing--their pain holds them captive. My pain reminds me to open to the truth of who I am as an individuated soul: stillness, peace, freedom, wisdom, and love. Grace.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Hollow Reed In Training

As a single being, standing at the open mouth of a whale, and only having the truth as my defense. Astounding to experience the teachings from the Masters holding up against a corporate vehicle for global materialism and even creating a ripple with amplitude for human rights. The lesson of the Light and how to open more completely to the mystery, wisdom, and truth--no story, no obscurations, just being a hollow reed in training. 

Tuesday, October 7, 2014


Rereading. There isn't anymore to add. Gurudev had this framed to hang inside his living space. I took note and have one in my living space as well.  As I walk into a fire from half a globe a way, I found this to be a point of reference once again--to be read, reread, sat with in stillness, and examined in the depth of my being as a two-legged walking, working, and living. 

Monday, October 6, 2014

Sitting In The Eye Of The Vortex

The Ocean and its power. 
Local Elk herd--Northern California
How the lesson plan continues to unfold. Offerings? Poignant moments? Insights into energetics unknown, but revealed to leave one bathed in stillness at a new awareness? Invited to a Sufi devotional music event presented by world recognized musicians. Attending as a newbie and no expectations.  I sat on a folded blanket on the floor with an opportunity to work on my ashram posture and presence. The music began. I couldn't stop the tears from the beauty of their voices, intention, and vibration/resonance of the whole.  For an hour and a half, I became the eye of the storm in stillness while the energy of the music and dancing crowd swirled around me as what I could only guess a tornado is like. Only the swirling energy was the same texture as the stillness, but moving.  How is this possible? An insight into the transition from being to doing without needing to pick up anything extra? An observation of power and activity without the distortion of ego? An opportunity to be in stillness while surrounded by dancing, singing, and drumming at a high pitch?

Thank you bus driver. I just need to continue to be open. These moments are so profound, because the mind cannot make sense of something so beyond its' capacity. Words are only a rough outline. A thread connecting all that I learned at the feet of the Master while sitting a half a globe away. The daily lesson plan has not slowed because I am not in India. Grace.

Merging of Two Rivers

Two watch the river run by where two are merged...
How appropriate to watch where two rivers merge while getting to know my birth parents. It was seamless, fluid, and full of depth, beauty, harmony, and a new sense of satiation.  Thank you!

And modern art as well