Is it possible to apply the word flawless to a living being? As I watch Gurudev stoop to serve the second serving of main course for a small group of us at lunch, I marvel at his humility, willingness to be in service at every point, and wisdom of sharing this teaching. If only I could have preserved that serving to put on an alter at home, but the vision will have to suffice.
Many pockets of debris have been cleaned off the lint screen, but there are some so deep that I have no expectation of them being addressed. One of them was the fear and disconcert that I felt in the womb of my natural mother. I don't really have any remembrance of ever being held, tranquil, and in peace as accustomed to an unborn child floating in the warmth of amniotic fluid. The lack has provided a strength and will to move through life, but love is a place for examination. Sitting in the unwavering flood of love from Gurudev has shifted the possibilities, but how to let go of the root.
Just leave it to meditative creativity. While sitting in the stillness, a sense of fluid tranquility began washing over me. The sense of floating in a womb with solitude, but not aloneness presented itself. I was relaxing into this beautiful state and experiencing no need for fear or disconcertedness. This state was a marvel in itself, but the imagery grew and the womb became part of Gurudev. Men obviously don't have wombs, but the day before, we had been discussing the various roles he plays as father, mother, uncle, teacher etc. It was a little bit startling, but I took it as a symbolic placement and then the imagery shifted to Mary (Mother of Jesus Christ) as the holder of the womb and onto the holder for all of humanity.
I have been sitting with this for several days. An imagery beyond, the beyond for me. So incredibly personal, but at the same time so universal, healing the past and tying it to the truth of all humans at the deepest level. The Oneness.
Pranam to the Perfect Master. (Is the offering of an extended moment of gratitude and humility ever enough?)