Internet out for a week which was timely and good for me to step out of the world even more completely for a stretch of time. I have been living and breathing Ramakrishna Teachings and of course Gurudev's in preparation for a trip to Ramakrishna's sites in and around Calcutta.
The massacre in CT was a tragic jolt back to reality. And then for some reason I had to put the cloak of women's inequality back on too. It is the first time I have asked Gurudev about it from an evolutionary, global phenomena and not just eastern cultural. I was trying to find the root and if there was any ideas for climbing out of the #2 position--ever. Basic structure, women are weaker than men physically may be the root, but how to move forward. We are moving forward, but very slowly. There was a comment that it is part of my work. I am assuming that as a woman, it is automatically part of my work.
Planning to take the new route and live with the basic concept of there are no answers in the empirical world and increase the threading of the transcendental world as a full time belief system. It feels like coughing up a giant hairball (like a cat) that I have lived with a certain belief and faith for 48 years and now after "careful research", I am going to try another approach. It is still all surrender and faith, but the temperature at the ocean's edge is not unknown. Examining what it is that I am doing to be "going straight" now and how to continue when I return to California.
The Universe has already given me homework when I land (looking forward to helping two of my dearest friends in the West), but I don't need to get ahead of the story with 6 more weeks ahead.
While sitting in the ashram with all of this, the state of inner peace was lovely. It appears to always be there, present, and waiting for one to take the veils off.