Whatever this new state is, it is still with me and I feel like a radioactive human. It caught me off guard, but Gurudev even noticed it and he has never commented on my state of being before. All I can say is that it is worth the 46 years this lifetime and the countless lifetimes before. Not sure if I get to live like this, but even to know this sort of inner freedom/spaciousness exists is remarkable. Not to mention the freedom from being impenetrable from pain and suffering. Even rode a horse for the first time in 4 months, but no comparison.
When the little boy ran up to grab my hand yesterday morning (Wow, that was only a day ago!), I remember thinking, "What could I really give this little boy to help him?" Now I can say, I wish I could give him a seed of this new awareness--to have and to grow, so he knows that no matter what challenges he faces, there is a place of safety, harmony, and peace "behind" the challenge. There is no real estate limit, so I would love to hand them out to whomever. Maybe this will be the future of my Selfseeds Program... Standing on a corner with my goat and horse handing out little selfseeds sacks.
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