One Ladder

Ashram Flower

My ladders (spiritual and physical) appeared to meet today.  Decided to be extra fierce about ego tentacles, desires, expectations, judgements, and presence.  The sense being I was the cosmic soup, but with a line around my form and what was in the form was the same as what was outside the form.   Before, I experienced "formlessness" as my form defined by an outline in a space.  They sound the same but the one today was from a point of spaciousness with myself included and the other myself into space.  My test is always can I find this in the outer world.  Tricky, but bliss flooded in as I kept my "list" from taking over.  Very different to stay that expanded with a crowd of unfamiliar beings.  It has been a constant dissolving of a desire to contract in order to reach this point.  (Of course, the point is just another experience of some unfolding-- I have wondered how the two ladders would cross into one.)

Not unlike the sickness that wracked my body after the experience with the dogs, my body felt like it had been run over by a truck for 24 hours after working through the piece of man's violence against women.  At this point, I will take it as some sort of detoxing that my physical body went through to purge the belief system I was holding.  I recognize that I do need to respect the safety of my physical being, but there isn't a reason not to hold love and light as an offering to the soul of the aggressive being.  I hope to not revisit that evolutionary piece again--at least in that context.

Cool to watch Gurudev play a mean drum.  He filled in with the nightly instrument playing.