Grace On The Accelerated Plan

Yesterday, Gurudev had said to come at noon to speak with the professor.  The universe squeezed in a homework assignment and than what a privilege to speak with an Indian who is in the thick of academia and spirituality.  I can tell, I am not on the Merry-Go-Round now; more like the Spinning Tea-Cups or something.  Fasten my seat belt comes to mind....  An IV of Divine Grace for my soul and now an IV of spiritual wisdom for my brain.

I have been considering whether or not I should stay in India, since I met my goals in 3 months instead of the 2 years or longer that I was prepared for.  I hadn't really thought about the after, since I wanted to be accepting and open to what unfolded.  Gurudev confirmed that I had reached the beginning of a new layer, but what does that actually translate to in practical living?  Maybe it is in the reading?  Maybe it is through living, continuing to notice the tendency for the ego to create separation, and redirecting the impulses?  Earlier in the week, I was having a pity party about my living situation, but when I thought it through,  I realized that wasn't a good enough reason to give in.  (The water heater, duvet, sprouts, sweet potatoes, and more showed up as support!)  But then the question of is it reasonable to want more  "spiritual moments" came up?

Pranam to the professor.  He graciously shared a lot, had answers that fit together with all the wisdom so far, and helped me look at the next leg of the journey.  (Gurudev is so pure (and humble) teaching from the inside and nurturing the experience of the spirit within.  I have been working on teaching people feel for riding, but the thought of teaching people feel for consciousness is mind boggling!)  He said that I should stop thinking that I am somehow unworthy of this teaching, because I am not Indian or live in India or whatever else that I am using to separate myself from believing that it is really happening.  He reminded me that it has been thousands of lifetimes and that it is by grace and work that the moment is now.  He confirmed that I am not going crazy and that one of the remarkable parts of my journey is that I want to understand and experience what "It" is.  I didn't realize that some people understand, some people have the experience, but not everyone does both.  He stressed to keep trusting my instincts and inner voice, because the Divine is leading me through them and in a seemingly productive way.  The question of looking at the ego regarding greediness of experience is a good one, but the next leg is deepening into this Cosmic Soup through meditation and getting lessons/tests from the outer world.  The intellect/books are not going to help me much now on this next section.  How we experience all of this is unique (7 billion versions and more added daily), but the experience of consciousness/formlessness is even less "tangible."

What a week!!!!  One of my major legs of support reminded me, "Don't forget that he can work on you in your sleep too, so the seat belt is a good idea."  The verdict is onward.  I may pop home at some point if it looks like I can change my visa in a reasonable amount of time, but otherwise, diving inward is the only path for now.