Looking inward and outward

Inside view of the holy tree

It was raining this morning, so it was lovely to be tucked away in the corner of the temple, on some dry feed sacks, with the amazing (ancient, holy) tree, and next to one of the statues.  It had the feeling of hanging out in the barn which is one of my favorite places.  Even the neighborhood dog snuck back in and was licking my toes.  Silence/stillness.  You begin to realize that even the breeze has a little sound of its own.  Yes, I had a moment of "how different could life be...."  The nature, animals, and time for reflection is not unfamiliar and someone beamed in from the Western World would get that.  The roaming cows, fresh cow poop all over the road in the morning, people sweeping their front entrances and store fronts, unique statues that people place flowers, leaves, and flower garlands, everyone padding around in sandals or bare feet, women wrapped in colorful fabrics, puja (or pooja), 3:00 am people walking on the street blasting music (are there famous Indian rappers?)... might get a questioning look.

Interesting to observe a native bargaining, fuming, upset about dishonesty while just buying fruits/vegetables in the local market.  In a land based in spirituality, but there is this harder edge too.  Maybe survival, crowded conditions, hecticness, rawness, all play a roll on the Indian stage of life?

Gurudev got a good laugh out of me (when he is laughing like that, his eyes are twinkling which reminds me of the joyful, childhood vision of Santa Claus/Saint Niklaus) while I was trying to ask him how to work with the intense feeling of wanting to just lie down on the floor and evaporate into some other state whenever he is present.  I find it other times too, but it is over the top with him present.  The other day, I was struggling a bit to stay mildly coherent and he left for lunch, I sort of "woke up", but then the minute he returned, back into the depths of this delirious state.  I hadn't quite mapped it out that directly, but it was like running a clinical trial of its own. I know the ashram rules don't encourage people to recline on the floor, so sometimes propping oneself up against a pillar or wall is a substitute.  If the pharmaceutical world could put that feeling into pill form, they could make a lot of money, but without the harmful side effects of narcotics.  Getting better at shifting between the states, but the point is that you don't really want to leave that effervescent, relaxed, immobilized state.  Not sure one could find a job in the Western world with those requirements as the job description.  All an interesting part of the soup.

Researching/emailing for the volunteer work.  Gurudev suggested that I get help from one of the local population to get started.

The bike is perfect!!  I was able to do an hour of cycling with different intervals (sitting and standing with varying tensions--the upside of a spin cycle) and integrating the use of weights.  Part of balance--keeping track of the body too.  The other fun part is using the iShuffle which is this remarkably small device that allows you to download 500 songs and attach a set of earphones.  I listened to one of the Enneagram Study sessions while working out, (multi tasking!)