Sitting with God and service to God is stirring some new unexamined areas. Perfect timing with the impending return to the West. I have the requirement list already in place, but what about the bigger picture? Even not sitting at the power packed divine presence of Gurudev is a transition. "Follow my heart." were his parting words.
For some reason, I decided to stay a little longer this morning. Just to sit and be with my Sue thoughts regarding the Divine. How important is God at this point in my life? Will I be distracted? Will I melt back into the material orientation of living? (Spiral staircase western style is coming up.) As I sat, the feeling of such deep love filled my heart cavity and it is the feeling that one recognizes as the grace of God--not an emotion, not sentimentality, and not a mental construction. The tears are always triggered with this deeper awareness and as I stayed still within my thoughts of gratitude, the energetic transformation also joined within my head. The beauty and sincerity of the moment was shared with the "dish washing" priest performing the morning puja. How could the temple be empty? Don't others want to share in this remarkable state of being?
I have been thinking and living the spiritual process 24/7 for almost 3 years now. Moments like this help to reaffirm the inner truth and all that is truly relevant in uncovering inner peace. The aftermath of the energetic field was a quality of emptiness that isn't related to loneliness. This has been a new addition to the energy experience and it is very, very tranquil. While I was sitting at the ashram on the day Gurudev departed, I remember feeling this. I am alert and capable of functioning, but the inner place seeps into the limitlessness with no push or pull from any movement. Just being.
While walking through the gateway at Mother Teresa's, I am already deeply struck by how friendly and cordial everyone is--patients and staff. It is like one big family. I have only been going there for 6 days and each person greets me like I am a life long friend. This is a new experience for me. I can sense the areas where outward kindness is difficult for me to assimilate at times. I had just come from a massive immersion of inward love and now to wade into a giant pool of outward love. Between the Sister's pure service and the patients who are glad just to be cared for and alive, the truth and sincerity of the love felt very pure. Gurudev is the maximum bar for unconditional love, but this feels like a relative.
|Preparing the new garden area.|
|One of the Sisters gardening|
|The gardener encouraged me to take a photo of a beautiful rose|
Puppy power at the ashram!!! How to find them loving homes???
|Ready for adoption!|
|More to come!|