|Flower in a pot at the Mother Theresa Home|
As I sit in front of Gurudev's chair or in Pahari Baba's temple alcove, the disappearing darkness sets in. What really happens is part of the mystery, but the deep inner rewiring is relentless for opening the heart. Touching the selfless service at Mother Teresa's House was part of the series of spiritual hand grenades that have continued to explode and excavated a larger area for Absolute Truth and Absolute Love.
While downloading horse videos in preparation for my work list that is awaiting me when I return to California, the download speed was very slow for whatever reason, so I opted to read Ramakrishna Teachings in between. It is safe to say that I am infatuated with those teachings. They are offering words that act in conclusion with my new areas of heart wrenching passion for something that I couldn't even say existed two years ago. I suspected there was a greater power, but I had no proof. Now, it is clear how the action of living is truly the Divine's play while the internal fire smolders and burns unlike anything man could create or employ.
It feels so irrational to be leaving the vibrational container that birthed me to this new point of awareness, but there are practical parts of living too--maybe? When I read that Ramakrishna would scrape his face to a point of bloodiness while calling for the Mother to appear, it doesn't sound completely irrational. When I read how the physical body can often become neglected in the deepening anguish of knowing only the One more intimately, it doesn't sound out of the question. One amazing part of India's history is that there are people/beings who understand all of this. In America, one would be medicated and locked up somewhere out of harms way. I wondered about that while I was sitting with the "mentally" disturbed patients at MT House. Were they truly disturbed or was that the perception of the unknowing parts of society? Maybe they are the knowing group and have lost touch with what we believe is social conformity?