Is the spiritual path for humans really a path of percentages? The more one becomes conscious, the more one feels unconsciousness, the less one wants to partake in unconsciousness, the increased consciousness appears to make one an outsider to humanity but an insider to the Divine, humanity thrives on unconsciousness, while trapped in humanness one can only hope to decrease the disturbance numbers related to giving or receiving unconsciousness, so the spiritual path becomes an approach for moving the percentage ranking of pain that one lives with?
Please God, don't ever make me a guru. Watching Gurudev deal with every aspect of pain (physically, mentally, and spiritually) on an hourly, daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly basis is astounding to witness. Could I learn a small percentage for my own selfish survival? Could my small sliver keep me out of pain? Apparently not completely, but it can improve the numbers.
So is the spiritual path the "right path" to follow even if it has its limits--at least while living in a body? Should I be grateful for any improvement in the numbers? Maybe what I am coming to terms with is that no matter how "good of a student" I become there will be pain, so just get in the stream and keep swimming knowing there will always be an obstacle course--realization of life.
I will be part of creating pain for others and I will be part of receiving pain from others. Even in my attempt to make descriptions of humans simple and generic (American, white skinned, Indians, brown skinned, etc.), it offends some. My attempt to simplify the description of horses (brown, black, white, etc.), it offends some. My attempt to be still, unobtrusive, and interiorly oriented, it offends some. My attempt to be humorous, joking, and playful, it offends some. My attempt to be truthful, honest, and thoughtful, it offends some. My attempt to set boundaries by grabbing someone by the neck or swearing like a "sailor," it offends some.
I started this path from a vantage point of suicide and now I don't even have that option as a pain eliminator, since reincarnation appears to be part of the rules. The good news is that it appears to potentially be a healthy path, equanimity is less painful, and bliss can be a lovely state of being.