Friday, October 19, 2012

Exquisite Nature of Pain

The future for women

Only now can I begin to sense the exquisite nature of pain and that there really is a possibility to embrace it as a partner to love.  I expect to still fall down A LOT while deepening into this capacity.  Pranam to the two disturbance paths as my path for walking and my personal skin.  Observing and sitting with Gurudev,  a container with the vast capacity to be in the presence of all types of pain (interiorly and exteriorly) and never lose the connection to Absolute Love and Wisdom, has shown me the potentiality for accepting the numerous manifestations of pain.  For some reason today I could sense into the divine quality to pain and its profound role in the movement towards the Divine--the tears were uncontrollable once again.

How kind of the universe to provide a trial run with this new awareness--the cultural truth for women in India and the astounding number of cultures that lack respect for women (women are considered a group of two-leggeds for providing food and sex.)  This characteristic for the men here has been like sandpaper to me, but I couldn't put words to it.  I spent 5 years with an Indian man who had moved to America in his early teens and he harbored characteristics of this no-respect disease.  At the time, I sensed it as something passive-aggressive in his nature, but now I understand it as part of the Indian man's culture.  Observing devoted, kind men in the ashram has helped me to sense a refined version, but it still exists.  Oh my, the thought of truly what these women endure.  We have no real idea how precious our freedom is in the West and yet, there are still artifacts and layers there as well.  For men, why change or examine something that is not a disturbance from their point of view.

The deep often seemingly hidden layer of divinity (at least in my limited perspective) and the more exposed layer of human presence will be in tandem until I have no form.  The endless state of duality while human that Gurudev mentioned while I was fact checking observations of being in a body.  Somehow this knowing provides an acceptance and forgiveness, but now I can better understand the desire for the "point of no return" to the form. 

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