Tuesday, October 30, 2012

The Sand Particle

A section of the morning was spent sitting in the quiet presence of the Divine Genealogy at the ashram as I asked how a sand particle (hard, compact, and austere) could ever become part of the Ocean (flexible, expansive, and energetic.)  A rough version of a poem arose from the inner silence of the Voice about sand and ocean. Sue has no more ideas how to merge more deeply into this ocean of love that continues to lap over me as the sand particle.  Surrender was all I could offer--a blank surrender.  The pain in my heart felt like a very long, thin needle needed to penetrate to find some relief.  The fracturing needed to come from inside instead of being pulverized from the outside.  The monkey stick wasn't going to be enough.

Gurudev looked at me and asked if he could frame the birthday card that I had created for him.  How inventive and how else could I be touched so deeply.  Several people had already come up and had tears over what a beautiful choice of poetry and photos.  How does one respond to such a request?  The flood of tears again.  I had truly learned something as he looked upon it as a composite of what he and I had discussed over the almost 2 years of direct contact.  The tears were for the acknowledgement, but also for the stir it created in his devotees.  Something had spoken to the universality of Absolute Truth and Love shared by disciples in India who have lived and breathed in his presence for years, grew up with spirituality as second nature/language of the their culture, and their individuated paths that have brought them to the feet of this Master's.  The white, woman walking/wondering had touched this religion-less, cultural-less, person-less place as an outpouring of gratitude to Gurudev (and Pahari Baba.)

To be so deeply accepted and loved by his devotees as well as himself--fracturing 101.  Always feeling as the outsider to myself as well as the world, thank you for this lesson.  He spoke of when the continuous rain of love comes, the well near or far to the ocean will fill and find its way to a stream or a river that will inevitably head to the ocean.

That wasn't enough fracturing.  I was then told that when they were deciding on the design for the rangoli, Gurudev gave them one of my lotus pictures from his earlier birthday celebration to be used as the model in the artwork.

The photos and birthday card came from the same place as the daily blogs, words in riding lessons, and moments of inspiration.  Today came as a deeply penetrable Divine "fact check." The sand particle was clearly opened.

(Thank you Cathy and Bhavani for your continued support while my time in India continues to unfold.)

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