Really enjoying the Gita. Trying to get through 100 pages a day, but my eyes get tired. (Yes, I had them checked before coming here and they said no glasses yet.) I was stumbling a bit over the devotion to Lord Krishna when my belief system has been more abstract, but Gurudev sorted that part out.
As I was sitting with the transition to pure heart, I was thankful for all of the heart work that has been going on simultaneously with my knowledge search, so the transition hasn't been too challenging other than to recognize a need to shift. While reflecting on the this lifetime, I was marveling at how clever the stepping stones have been. 45 years of riding and 20 years of dancing have all been about partnering--lead and follow. There is really never one without the other. Sort of an involution/evolution of its own when there is a desire to share and be present in the experience.
There have been some challenges I have been up against and seeing how Gurudev handles them has led the way to trusting him further as a leader. He continues to show humility, kindness, and wisdom as his consistent action/reaction. As I look to this more single-pointed path of Absolute Devotion, there are tears of gratitude again to have Pahari Baba and Gurudev as my guides. How remarkable. I have had a lot of teachers in this lifetime (and a few have been outstanding), but to head down this new lane of traffic requires a spiritual neuro-surgeon and beyond.
My human emotions are of curiosity and longing. My heart has recognized the path all along, but my mind had to be put to rest with the Sue Eoff completeness process. The jolts of shakti continue on a daily basis. That umbilical cord to my heart showed up again as I took the new turnoff, but I knew that would be resolved--and it was. No fireworks, except the ones over the ashram. It feels like the hand was extended for the dance and I have accepted, so now to see what follows.
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