Animal Kingdom

As an animal person, one of the lovely parts of India is feeling like you live in the animal kingdom night and day. You don't have to go to the zoo to see exotic animals. You just go out on the street and open your eyes. Someone asked if I missed riding the horses--not really, surprisingly. I have been in a long conflict (years) around the consciousness of training animals. I have never been satisfied with the training techniques, (as witnessed in my earliest blogging), I impose on animals for the sake of human pleasure. People tend to include me in the humane animal training group, but I have always searched for clearer communication and less confrontation. Would I miss being around animals--terribly, but I enjoy interacting with them more than training them at this point. I so enjoy saying good morning to the camels and the cows during my walk.

Even though the animals in India are often overburdened, lame, poor nutrition, wounds etc., it is somehow different not to be responsible for them. My time at Sterling Farms, San Diego has allowed me one of the most ideal attempts for animal management in my career to date. I have been able to find quite a big dose of peace around how the animals live--their quality of life.

My step back into a horse world (South Africa) that inflicted pain, overlooked lameness, etc. stirred up an incredible amount of pain. I don't seem to be able to overlook the abuse when my hands are directly connected to the problem. It isn't comfortable to observe it either, but somehow getting some of the blood on my own hands is more unsettling. This is what stirred me to start all of this" journey of the heart." Could I become cold hearted enough to shut down and not care? It didn't work for me, it almost killed me on several occasions. Could I increase my heart capacity enough or have techniques that afforded me peace in the presence or action of something inhumane? Is it a greater capacity for humility and love?

While my ego was making one last (or maybe it will spark up again?) big effort to discourage me from moving to India for the pathway of spiritual deepening, I realized the futility of the ego's arguments. It doesn't mind falling into the same mud hole or stepping on the same land mind. In sort of a sick way, it appears to thrive on it. (Ekhart Tolle talks about the pain body and its need to feed in "The Power of Now.") I don't know if I will return to training horses, but there is no going back to not taking this next step, (or whatever step appears next to know more.)

As I have 14 hours layover in the Doha airport, more than enough time to reflect, I can already sense that I am more a part of the web of human life than just a bug stuck on the web. I am very curious to experience "my" world after these life changing 3 months.