When I walked home from the ashram (9 pm), there was a group of people standing with flags, in an organized way, with music blasting at concert level from big speakers mounted on a truck, and in front of one of the religious buildings. When I woke up at 5 am, they were still standing there with their flags and music on full volume. Did they do this all night? Dedication? The pink room was vibrating from the intensity. Almost every night one of the religious sites has something they are celebrating. I need to count how many there are on just this one short road. None of the neighbors ever appear to mind.
Surrender has been the common thread on this spiritual journey and I cannot imagine it will come to an end at any point soon. Recognized how limiting words are. If someone asked me what I learned, I could say to surrender, so my ego could be killed, and I could uncover the inner peace that has always been present. One word is so powerful, but what that means to the individual is the journey. It is the antithesis of what we need to "be a successful human in terms of outer world measurement," so the learning curve is winding and not always clear. Learning to surrender from the heart and not just an action from the mind is another part of the learning curve.
Very different to sit in an intoxicated state with some history and not just "What is going on?" as a mental framework. More surrender to the depth of love and truth offered in the new awareness--part of the incentive plan to keep "Letting Go." Surrender to a warrior means weakness, so a new teaching to see the strength in it--inwardly and outwardly. The next 50 years of the lesson plan unfolding? While training the horses, the word was submission. I never cared for that word, because it evoked a feeling of disrespect, force, and control.
As I sit with all of the story so far, this word and what it allowed in the human to justify their actions of ego, is part of what sent me to the feet of the spiritual master. The search for more humane and tactful techniques have been the journey. The distaste of using techniques that were out of alignment have left scars and provided the incentive to search. Experiencing the control and submission used by the teachers in ballroom dancing were the beginning of experiencing it personally (20 years of examination.) Now as I sit with my own surrender as an offering from the depth of my true nature, it is yet another pivotal point. How masterful to be led to this point without words, but with the unveiling of the nature of true life force--Absolute Love and Truth. A desire to know and live in alignment with the fabric of life are the carrots. One step it to be aware of the depth of surrender and the peace that prevails, but taking action from that perspective and walking in that state is another.