Friday, February 21, 2014

Five Horses To One

My self imposed mantra plan is working for taming the ego.  I can see how the repetition is just active enough for the mind to have something to do, but just narrow enough so when the mind steps out of bounds, it is quickly observed. My morning walk/run is in a place now where I have very few disturbances, so I can experiment with how internal I can be while still walking. Not the urgency of crawling on the wall or the risk of slipping under an elephant, but useful for integrating the inner and outer practice. The mantra-walk combination was generating a new state of high voltage joy and without effort.

While sitting quietly, I was observing how the new state of my heart was drawing me inward and how  the outer world was providing distractions here and there, so I pulled on the reins to reset the quiet zone. I am getting a feel for the amount of rein which is useful for more effective resets (half-halts in riding language.)  All of a sudden my "5 horses" (self) appeared to turn into only one (Self.)  I know about riding one horse, so there was a sense of familiarity and simplicity with the shift. The part that caught me completely off guard was where that led.

A new option in the Divine car wash? All 5 senses were shut off, but I was aware that they were available yet unnecessary for existing. There wasn't anything necessary for living and being in this space. I was the inner world, but aware of the outer world while completely unaffected by it. If I had no legs, arms, eyes, ears, skin, organs, mind, etc. it wouldn't have altered the state of joy I was in.  I didn't need a world either, but I was aware of its presence.  Fascinating to reflect on all of the different states experienced in this journey and then to have them assembled like a collage. I would be able to function in this state, but there would be no ego distraction.  I was able to take action as needed, but no requirement for more--only being. There was such a clarity of a root place one could live from that didn't need the ego accessories. Wow!

Reverse learning curve. Needed to figure out how to move the elevator back up a few floors, so I could understand someone who was trying to talk to me.  Practice. Very different than a deep meditation where the outer world and body drops away completely.

Should I be surprised that the last 16 pages of the book covered what I experienced today... and clarified a few questions meandering around.

Once again, a lesson in hands off the steering wheel.

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