Long walk day. It rained, so the ground was soft and my feet were thankful. Nice opportunity to examine a piece of the puzzle that started to shift last night. A section so deep and so attached that 5 years of observation hadn't brought it to an observable place until yesterday's new portal opened. Today, I could identify it clearly, but it was the first time there was a hesitation to move directly to the surrender pile. The ego had found something to leave on a shelf above Source. Now, my mind was surprised and found it illogical, but emotions and "illogical" parts of the mind were hanging on. I knew at some point it would get moved, but when, where, and under what conditions? Especially a layer so veiled that it was not ready to shift. Walking and watching the mind and soul have a discussion.
5 minutes after the discussion began, two of my teachers appeared--the horse and the human insanity plan. The pictures below will mean the most to horse people, but there are aspects for all to understand. The human emotions wanted to flair up, but knowing the futility of that loop extinguished the flame almost immediately. The portal from yesterday took on a new texture of power without emotion, violence, or despair. How quickly the ego's item on the top shelf was moved below Source. Choices? Yes. The library of my three year walk moved through me from the start to where I stand now. No Choice. Letting go once again.
There is a fatigue in this hyper-vigilence, but the last two reading assignments included that there will be a place, at some point, that something will shift enough for the hyper-vigilence to become unnecessary, but aspects of the practice will always be available. Until then, giddy-up and gratitude for the horses as my teachers.
|The unrelenting circle-shoe boil #1 (lying down is not comfortable.)|
|Shoe boil #2|
|More then shoe boils|