Sunday, October 9, 2011

An Unlimited Source

Floating Beauty

One of the interesting teachings from the ashram is to observe people on their better behavior, more polite, conscious of others, less aggressive, and so on.  There is a group that comes in who appear to have the "basic list of good behavior" as a way of life and almost take on an extra shine of transparency when under the light of the Divine.

I was already feeling flooded with gratitude for the teachings during the walk and was reflecting on the experience when I went to the ashram.  One group after another appeared to be in "category 2."  The need for super-sizing the body cavity was in overdrive from all of the shakti--it was almost painful.  While I was sitting in the Pahari Baba area, I asked if there was something I needed to let go of in order to make more space in my heart. There was an immediate response that probably felt like the old days of taking off a corset--I could breath again and it felt so spacious.  I keep falling back into questioning my worthiness for  receiving so many remarkable teachings and experiences.  When I noticed that series of thoughts reappearing, the corset immediately started to tighten again.  My ego tentacle of abandonment is so deep.  How could I be abandoned by an unlimited Source?

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