The thread started with a question around accepting praise, self worth, rejection, and love. How can one offer compassion/love without having love for one's self. Not getting the cart before the horse. Where did the lack of love for self come from. It wasn't in the requirement manual for raising a human. It was learned. In my case, it was from mirroring the lack in a parent, trying desperately to please, and never reaching the love bar. Nothing was ever good enough were the unspoken words. Never giving up reaching, but always punished in some emotional way. (Thank you Bhavani for help with uncovering that thread--rope I should say!) I have gratitude for the will it instilled. Striving for excellence. Looking for the truth. Now to let go of those ego beliefs and merge into the greater being of the Divine. Taking the leap of faith to reach again. I have verbalized doubts and questions around if this spacious source can say no at the entry gate. Such a deep inner longing to be enfolded by freedom.
An electronic diary sharing my spiritual path through observations/experiences, photos, videos, articles and more. It started with intensity at the end of January 2011 when I decided to go to South Africa and see the truth of animals living in the wild. Unsatisfied with the answers, I went to India looking for the truth of humans in an ancient civilization. Packing up my life as a dressage trainer in Southern California, I moved to Jaipur, India to follow a spiritual inquiry.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
My Path to Compassion
The thread started with a question around accepting praise, self worth, rejection, and love. How can one offer compassion/love without having love for one's self. Not getting the cart before the horse. Where did the lack of love for self come from. It wasn't in the requirement manual for raising a human. It was learned. In my case, it was from mirroring the lack in a parent, trying desperately to please, and never reaching the love bar. Nothing was ever good enough were the unspoken words. Never giving up reaching, but always punished in some emotional way. (Thank you Bhavani for help with uncovering that thread--rope I should say!) I have gratitude for the will it instilled. Striving for excellence. Looking for the truth. Now to let go of those ego beliefs and merge into the greater being of the Divine. Taking the leap of faith to reach again. I have verbalized doubts and questions around if this spacious source can say no at the entry gate. Such a deep inner longing to be enfolded by freedom.
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