Nothingness or Complacency?

Nothingness is coming into sharper focus than knowing.  I see and understand more of the basic underpinnings of life in India, the elements of the spiritual world, and how to be in both.  My overall knowing is moving toward mute colors and fog. For a person who has been on over drive for the current lifetime, it is an odd sensation.  I knew that it would be a change of lifestyle, but my concern is it a transformation into complacency, (ego probably has to keep trying for whatever it can get a handhold off.)

On the way back from buying supplies at the market across town, I waited in the car while the driver took care of some personal business.  I was still hungry from not eating much in three days, so I grabbed a packet of biscuits.  While I was munching,  I noticed the naked man was standing off to the right of the car.  I surveyed the environment to see what reactions, if any were taking place. Nothing really.  Someone offered him a smoke and he happily wandered off down the street.  I know it is more common in India to see naked people on the street, but should I give up my initial response of concern?  The judgement  has lessened and my eye is less distracted by these thumbnail glimpses of unfamiliar landscape.  What does it mean?  I see limping dogs and have concern, but the one lying on the side of the road yelping in pain with a broken back and no one helping are of greater concern.  Is this part of opening and accepting the different aspects of life?  Or is this falling into complacency?  Is hearing about the 750,000 starving Somalians and feeling unsure how to react when one hears reports of aid food being sold in black markets before reaching its destination. Discernment? Complacency? Spaciousness? Nothingness?

I came here because of the pain in my heart that I couldn't find an answer for.  My work training horses had lead to this unrelenting, nagging pain in the core of my being.  I was directed to find answers through seeking deeper belief in the Divine.  I am living in the middle of divinity with the grace of Gurudev and I wonder if I am moving farther away and replacing it with complacency?  The longer I stay, the less I know.