Monday, April 7, 2014

An Amoeba In A Petri Dish

Such gratitude!
A moment like yesterday leaves a gnawing, pulling state of a new frontier.  Ok, so do I just say thank you for showing me something that remarkable and now just go on with the path and see if it ever shows up again?  I haven't been a meditator, but it appears that I am now.  It is like sit down, get ready, close the eyes, and the inward adventure begins.  The "all inclusive" from yesterday showed up again.  The key appeared to be making no space for anything but devotion.  Without even the "all inclusive" point showing up, I am learning that Sue's best attempt at complete devotion is a very cool place to hang out in itself.  Devotional focus in inner stillness without any distractions could become a new obsession. I thought I would try it with my eyes open and see what happened.  Easy while staring in a devotional state at Gurudev and the two lines of people (male and female) were streaming towards his feet.  It was if the mute button for judgement, complex thinking, and exclusivity was pushed on.  All became just shapes moving and no charge or reaction to any of it could be activated, but I was awake and witnessing the action unfolding. Is this the beginning access to being in my spiritual heart with the outer world moving but deactivated for reactions?  Is this the stuff people make science fiction movies out of? And who thought meditating was boring.

The one and only down side to this new range of hyper sensitivity is the normal senses are on high volume. For example, if someone is standing behind me and crushes a plastic bag it is as if every neuron in my body is getting screamed at.  When someone comes to talk to me or offer prasad, I just about jump out of my skin, but minor details for what I am learning. No complaints, just living as an amoeba in a petri dish.

(Keep in mind I am paraphrasing from the reading and adding a western, white, woman's limited knowing to the equation.) A disciple of Ramakrishna asked him about combining knowledge with devotion and he recommended going for the pure devotion to minimize the challenges of the mind leaking in and limiting the growth potential from devotion.  He talked about the many, many paths, but the answer was based on simplicity. He went on to say the knowledge path has substance to it, but the mind can get tricky about even talking one out of being devotional when the two are combined.  I can really appreciate the wisdom.  It has been a welcomed relief to add the devotional angle into the mix for me, but I have been pulling on the reins for quite some time. Gurudev had suggested if I was going to read one spiritual master's work, Ramakrishna was the suggestion (at least for my path), so I feel the support of my experiences showing up in the reading everyday is like a fact check.  When I was getting to know Ramakrishna's teachings and about orange robed beings, I was fact checking the information with Gurudev.  This way, he gets a rest from all of my inquiring.  Nice practice too for when I live on the other side of the globe and don't have access to the living feet. Constantly astounded by the lesson plan. 

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