As I was jogging up the hill, I was ruminating on how I could function in the outer world from that state of deep meditation. It felt like my only hope. Another shift was needed. I know better than to offer my life, since it gets refused (for now), so how to break some more? Having the experience of a relatively empty mind, I have been able to watch disturbances emerge, the circling action of the mind, and the insistence to play tug-of-war even when there is not much to disturb. Remarkable action plan and how the ego is the task master. Break free of the ego while in action as well?
The letting go of what needs to happen when an action is offered whether in a moment or years in the making, frees the attachment to the action. The years of helping reconstruct horses has been a joy, the pain was in their destiny. Gurudev reminded me that animals have destinies as well, so to take action and let go. How simple and obvious now to relate the let go theory to the nature of taking action. The uncontrolled tears and feeling of intense gratitude in my heart were the verification. Another circle completed and healed. Grace. And no big stick needed this time. Only thoughtful surrender to the One. The flood of joy sitting within the circle of horses and training was so lovely that I didn't want to leave, but Gurudev was insisting that it was time to eat lunch.