Everything is perfect and my mind still wants to dredge up the most selfish, judgemental, and disturbing thoughts. Remarkable. Surrender pile still in place, willing to give up anything/everything, and relentless self examination/blind spot hunting turned on high. Is there any possibility of these thoughts reducing or shifting? Three years ago--no. Today--why not? How do I need to practice and live in a different way--they aren't useful for living in peace. Had to ask. "Part of the clearing process. They need to arise, so they can be destroyed. Embrace the thoughts. Part of the process. Most don't examine their thoughts, so they can be released."
Embrace them? Oh my. Some are so inappropriate while sitting in a holy place with a Spiritual Master. Nice--a twinge of fear crept in. Let go of what my mind is doing after how long trying to keep the ego sitting on the couch with hands quietly folded?
Giggle--the mind doesn't want to play unless it can control, distract, disturb, story tell, or convince. The quiet mind was incredible. I couldn't even bait it to grab hold with this new game plan of embracing all of it. Check mark and another point of separation delivered to the fire of the surrender pile.
Another stunning new experience followed. Being/Doing/Divine Essence/Action/Service all lined up. The bar for a possible state while in service/taking action just got moved to a new range. The lesson plan is so incredible.