Friday, January 10, 2014

Startle Response

There is a uniqueness in walking between elephants and having one of their tails swing over and touch you in the hand. I jumped. It was a new sensory experience for sure!

Contemplating yesterdays lesson while running and wondering how I would ever know what Absolute Love is?  I can pretend to try and offer a concept, but would I ever really know?  I am noticing that human thinking, doing, and being are all points of separation.  When the deeper state shows up, I cannot take action, so as long as I am meant to take action, do I just keep dipping into both worlds?

The desire to be less separated from Source is taking over the desire for human activity, but eating, exercising, working are not off the practical list.  The Baba who visited the ashram was pretty close to the most minimal list a human could have and still be actively alive. Love this part of India: observing and experiencing new frontiers of living states.

The impulse to pet an elephant was not to be denied today. Went to the saddling barn and I was invited to pet one of the elephant--and no money was required.  To stand in front of this enormous mammal, gently stroking his forehead while looking into his eyes, contemplating their quality of life, and the mind moved to the global status for animals.  The stillness felt like moments I experience with the horses and somehow this alignment opened that door to where I want to fall on the ground sobbing and almost blacking out.  It shows up periodically:  meditating under Redwood trees, touching Gurudev's feet, certain temples, seeing a dog with a broken jaw who was starving to death, and... Never know when it is going to show up. It creates a staggering amount of disparity coupled with a staggering amount of gratitude.  Interesting how it was originally connected to more "mystical" moments of meditation experiences and now it is showing up while I am physically alert.  Hmmm--the mundane is sacred and ....

Is this part of "going deeper?"  These openings feel like a touchstone to the backdrop of everything being one and the same, but it clarifies the human separation.  When the moment ends, the heart is so cracked open that a deep longing for this inner state is all that is left. Something that one cannot pay for, make happen, trick, or control. The gratitude is for the moment of knowing the depth of being something other than the limited self. The disparity is for the moment of knowing the depth of being something other than the limited self.

Nice idea

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