An electronic diary sharing my spiritual path through observations/experiences, photos, videos, articles and more. It started with intensity at the end of January 2011 when I decided to go to South Africa and see the truth of animals living in the wild. Unsatisfied with the answers, I went to India looking for the truth of humans in an ancient civilization. Packing up my life as a dressage trainer in Southern California, I moved to Jaipur, India to follow a spiritual inquiry.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Devotion is still a bit of an unknown for me, at least from the point of view that my mind creates. I see different physical offerings that would appear to fit into this category, but can one have it silently, inwardly, and as an offering unseen? My threads of respect and fear were slightly tangled as I asked Gurudev if having such an enormous amount of respect for him and beyond could it limit my capacity for love if part of the weave had fear involved. We had discussed this a year ago and he felt that it showed a very deep alignment to the process, but since I am reactivating my trail to the surrender pile, I wanted to check in. The entanglement hadn't diminished, but had come into clearer focus with the growing understanding of the whole. He paused and appeared to search interiorly and came up with the observation of humility. The respect and fear were tied together in the act of preserving humility.