Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Thorn Removal

Have you ever had a giant thorn in your "spiritual" heart, but you have no hands, body, or anything to pull it out with?  Handing over the thought of a "doer" In any recognizable form and surrendering at a level that I didn't even know was an option somehow shifted the thorn intensity.  It was if my spiritual heart and my mind were having an arm wrestling match. The pain of the thorn kept my mind focused, but my heart wouldn't let go until it got what it wanted.  My first experiences of this nature were ones of dying or a fracturing of my heart at a level that I wasn't sure I would live through. Now, I recognize it has some sort of internal rewiring, but I have no concrete idea of what to do other than to stay in acceptance, surrender, and wait. As I sat in the aftermath of this go round, there was a state of inner calmness, tranquility, and no thoughts while awake. 

No idea how many times I will need to go through the thorn removal process, but fascinating to watch the root of the ego when it was trying to get right back on patrol duties. It is clear now that is a no. I may be a slow learner, but not that slow.  Up until today, the feeling of the thorn made me acutely aware of a spiritual heart. The difference today was embracing and moving through the pain of it--into the fire so to speak. Did my heart just consume my mind like a snack? Should I be amazed at how similar the steps and processes are even with all the different layers?  While moving through these varied experiences, it is quite common that my peripheral questions and concerns get answered as well--bonus!  It is becoming evident that the net I have been dragging with stones and slowly emptying has been my Self and the offloading of unnecessary thoughts, beliefs, and ego constructions. 

No comments: