|(Thank you for the photo...)|
Two weeks have passed and I am experiencing a lot of different emotions in the reentry process. What has been distracting while sitting in such abundance? I wanted to put the "Sue is the doer" outfit back on. I have existed with that outfit for 47 years and only recently see clearly that Sue needs to be the receiver and executor of what is in the design. Is that possible in an environment with such high living expenses and pressure for material being? One of Gurudev's last teachings was not to confuse issues of societal demands and personal divinity. Living in America underscores that need for "separation." When he gives advice, I have no doubt about the wisdom, but the understanding and application often takes me a while.
I have been casting my line out into the job market daily while I look at three other developing business opportunities that feel more true to my nature. As bills come in, taxes due, and other expenses present themselves, I have tried not to resort back to fear. It is a familiar tugging, but it is tugging on a new rootedness in the divine. Before, the giant boulder or limit to change was fear and now fear (ego) is wanting to pull on the giant boulder of presence in the divine. "Let Go" are the words constantly ringing in my ears. I still have the same people holding the rope as I dangle over the ledge. The challenge is to let go in the familiar environment. No tricking the Divine Lesson Plan. The sense of inner lint-disturbance was setting off the lint detection alarm.