Thursday, October 1, 2015

Wearing A Human

Arriving in his temporary place before flying to America. Thank you for the 3 photos Andrea!
My what a gift it is to have a horse again and such an intelligent, sensitive one. He is like taming a wild animal that doesn't know how to trust, but wants to. As a witness and facilitator to this process of creating trust without force from an animal that is naturally hard-wired to run is amazing. I have enlisted help, since his fear is so great and I don't want to take a risk of landing in a Hungarian hospital. The perfect young man is the rider while I manage the ground trust. He knows me from the ground, so it was a good decision. I have explained to Nador that his evolutionary pattern appears to be as a riding horse this lifetime. For a horse that has been in a herd, relatively untouched for six years, this is a bizarre transition. He is starting to get the hang of it at the walk and now to add the other gaits. His attention to detail and speed of learning has challenged me to be present at a level that many horses don't require.

Simple things like immediately walking over to greet me when I go to catch him, putting his head on my chest, and enjoying my hands on him are steps in the acceptance of humans. As I reflect, we are not so different. It has been different for me to be the one on the ground, but the beauty of watching his eyes changes from fear/confusion to acceptance/relief is a wonderful reminder of the eyes as an opening to the truth of the inner state. This is the third horse recently I have found myself in this position of being the grounds person with a young horse and a capable, developing professional. It is a turn of events, but I am enjoying this new role. Passing on the teaching. Students and horses in each country are fundamentally the same.

Human words are helpful, but not the most important part of the communication in the teaching. My job is the sensing of the horse and the rider. The rider's job is the sensing of the horse and trusting me. The horse's part is trusting and sensing us both. What a privilege to be a part of this triangle. The rawness of Nador is a deeper opening for me. The inner elevator must go deeper into the heart and inner stillness, so my vibration doesn't create fear. The tone and use of my voice is a critical point of soothing and calming him while he learns about contact.

He is starting to get the hang of "wearing" a human on his back with a saddle. It is a significant milestone for a horse. I am doing what I can to foster his development and trust before I go to India and he flies to America. It will be traumatic for him to make the journey without a horse or human that is familiar when the trust is so new and fragile, but the handlers are professionals.

With the new state I am working on interiorly, I don't know if I would be quick enough or present enough to work with such an athletic, quick horse, so the Universe has placed me in a better point as a grounding rod on the end of the rope. My walks are allowing me time to examine more aspects of the global situation, have temper tantrums in some areas of the human insanity plan, and let go of any tension that wants to sit inside of me. I see now how clearly exercising has been for this release, so I can be present with the horses without the distraction of mind or body. While I have fitness and good health, I will continue to have gratitude for this combination.

At times, I am so distracted by the presence of love that I have to force taking action of standing, thinking, or reacting. I welcome the challenge as I ease into this direction of knowing there is nothing else. Every point that I examine and try to find some logical reason for disturbance or separation, it always leads me back to Oneness and Absolute Love. When does the ego stop fighting this point of Absolute Truth?

I look forward to focusing single-pointedly on this in India with a new awareness. Everything is falling into place for my horse to go to a safe house in America and get holistically treated for a crooked pelvis, the energetic/physical scarring from castration, and his fear. My most trusted person for this is going to see him in November, after his arrival, and design a program. He will have time to assimilate the adjustments before we start working on riding again.

Sensing and working with Nador's fear helps me to see and understand my own. It is clear that the root of my nature and point of being is fear. Even as a warrior by exteriorized standards, I see this place of vulnerability. With humans, I may never have found this, since they have so much scaffolding that it is easy to miss this point while in contact with one's self. Thank you once again to the horses for being my access to go deeper. A new stepping off point to let go of more. The insanity and futility of the guarded side of the ego is clear. Will I have the capacity to consciously step into this letting go and not just experience if from the depth of mediation at the level I am now aware of? The constant inner and outer work. I sense my inner "feralness", but I know that I am going to my own safe house at the feet of Gurudev to loosen the scaffolding again.

No comments: