An electronic diary sharing my spiritual path through observations/experiences, photos, videos, articles and more. It started with intensity at the end of January 2011 when I decided to go to South Africa and see the truth of animals living in the wild. Unsatisfied with the answers, I went to India looking for the truth of humans in an ancient civilization. Packing up my life as a dressage trainer in Southern California, I moved to Jaipur, India to follow a spiritual inquiry.
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Reminder of the Warrior Edges
Thank you India and container of brown-skinned men for helping the warrior in me to find a turn in the road where I would lay down my swords in order to move deeper into my heart. Peace and inner stillness as the only true way, I see now. The shift within is remarkable, but I feel the challenges of that turning point here. No desire to go back, but the change still has "street rules" in the game as a potentially needed tool or balance.
At home, I have been using a somewhat unorthodox method for staying in touch with the deepest inner vibration of self and the potential of others, in order to keep searching for the thread of Absolute Love and Truth that we all share. While sitting in one of my favorite spots in the ashram, it is as if I am drowning in that place, but it is not created by any effort or searching on my side--only to open and allow. There are no words, thoughts, or actions, but there is some form of longing to go more fully into the resonance and be swallowed by it completely. The self is the access point like a portal, but it too feels like it must dissolve at least for merging with this state that is calling. More edges to observe and let drop away? The edges are the fear, control, and more where I appear to hang onto so my ego can drive the bus? "Let go!" are the words of Gurudev that always help me to soften those edges.
"The state of Source is the grace, but the student must still take action." Is this the point where the student must take at least one step even if the Guru takes 99? At home, I may touch isolated moments of this state, but here, it is as if every cell in my body is drinking at the trough of Source.
Becoming more acutely aware of the points, markers, and contacts that help me to move deeper are also potentially the points that hold me back. While watching the intense movie on mountain rescues on Mt. Cook in New Zealand, I could see how the peg pounded into the snow acted as an anchor from falling, but there was a point in moving forward that a new peg needed to be put into place. The very peg that was a point of strength to move up the mountain, became a point of limitation if not successfully navigated. At least this is the way the mind wants to tell the story. All of the bread crumbs are becoming uniform, but only perceived as different relative to my point on the path. They have all been anchor points to move forward, but not to limit forward movement.
*I frequently ask myself why I am still blogging. Maybe others write poems, music, etc, but for now, I appear to blog. It helps in my digestion of what unfolds, accountability to what would appear to be obscure to many, and a better understanding of my personal path.
Found a nice time and path to run in the morning while India is waking up.