Friday, June 22, 2012

Beyond The Lint Screen

The Dance of Light from the ocean edge in Southern California

So why am I going back to India?  The last trip resolved my fear of humans, provided a sense of Absolute Truth/Love, and gave me a tool kit of accepting/loving the human insanity plan.  Of course it will be AMAZING to sit at the feet of Gurudev, but is there more?  I have been absolutely blank accept knowing that I need to go back.  As my homework in the West is integrating and the final details of my departure are drawing to completion, I have started to examine the why?  "Bring it on" was offered. What is it that I cannot see?  Something so deep and so close that I cannot examine it?

I made a visit to NB to see if he could give me a clue.  We sorted out the homework assignment.  Love at the deepest level and fullest capacity.  Of course, the obvious.  

Nine hours of driving allowed me to examine just what did that mean.  There was a very distinct thread that unraveled and then I realized that this place exists behind the lint screen, beyond naked, and into a vast unknown.  While in intense pain, I had surrendered it all and was willing to live with any outcome--death, disease, disfigurement or whatever was required.  On the other side of the energetic death was light, peace, and love--a "resting" zone of some sort.  

What happens when one surrenders to the resting zone?  There is no end to the gratitude for what I have already learned and experienced.  I don't have anything on my wish list other than to live out the rest of this life cycle in some aspect of service.  So what is with this new homework assignment?  

The Universe is unrelenting.  Now I see that the escalator is still moving and my shoelace is still caught in it.  Assignment:  open to Absolute Love at some new capacity.  While sitting at the ashram, I experienced human love, unconditional love, and Absolute Love.  Now I see how that wasn't enough, but it was a start.  It opened a new doorway by sensing love in a capacity that wasn't limited by the rules of human society or built on some condition.  Nature and animals had shown me this, but two-leggeds had never.  Experiencing Absolute Love as a droplet of the Divine State helped me to examine the potential, but now to go back once again and experience it as a limited human opening to limitlessness.  

I was all signed up for the formless, but the "no stone is left unturned and no blade of grass is left unexamined" has been the truth and teachings of the path.  Sigh!  Once again, Sue is the obstacle course.  The limit is only mine.  The minute I realized this, an intense energetic marker showed up in my heart.  Breathing deep and into the sensation was the point of contact.  I had to laugh out loud at the next assignment--beyond the lint screen.  Bingo.  The blank screen is still in place, but a small line of invisible ink is starting to appear at the top of the board.  (And all of this while driving 80 mph over the Grapevine!)

The light partnering with the obscuration


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