Recently, there was a moment that I experienced the difference between the beauty of abundance and Absolute Abundance.
As in all societies, there are many shades of grey. I have been fortunate to live in the shade with abundance, excellent health/wellness, work, love, manifestation of goals, and the perks of more stereotypical western living. Although, I still experienced pain in my heart and the question of "Is this it?" which led me eventually to the feet of a living spiritual master. But what really was the point of separation? I think that awareness has surfaced. Returning from India there was the immediate physical comfort and abundance that encapsulated my physical world and I still felt like a radiated being from the shift in energetic capacity. But what I have grown to observe/sense as I swim in the stream with my tribe?
As an individual, I still have to hold myself accountable for keeping the lint filter cleared off. With the outward ease, it is easier to let the lint accumulate from the thought form world. I can create and carry the same energetic heaviness from thought forms (all of the negativity of news, political campaigns, Hollywood gossip, etc.) as I would experience walking down the road to the gym in India with the ongoing physical harassment. Sure, one is mental and one is physical, but it appears to have a similar affect on the body--a dampening of the state of internal peace.
My interest has been to merge all of it together, so once again I see that I am the limiting vehicle. In my laziness of letting the thought forms accumulate, it is creating a plaque of sorts. While in India, I was constantly observing and digesting the disturbances so the plaque could not obscure the work in the ashram and dig through the layers I was already wearing. I was working to integrate both worlds (inner and outer.) While currently living with such material ease, it is easy to let the vibration of undigested material to pile up, so back to work. Being is a form of stillness, but there is an aliveness in it and subtle activity of alertness. At this point, the being requires a filtering and skillful digestion of whatever wants to create an obscuration from the purity of the Divine.
There was a day in India where I experienced the difference between human love and Absolute Love. Absolute Love enlists a depth of house cleaning that is beyond words. For me, it is the place where surrender and uncontrolled tears well up and flood over. It becomes very noticeable when any action, thought, or word separates one from that connection. There is no going back. The awareness is haunting in its clarity. It is a place of grace, but at this point, it feels like a place of personal accountability to keep taking action to continue walking into that light. Returning to America is helping me to discern another subtlety in the layers/veils. Pranam to the wisdom of the Divine Genealogy.