A Perfect Master

Is it possible to apply the word flawless to a living being?  As I watch Gurudev stoop to serve the second serving of main course for a small group of us at lunch, I marvel at his humility, willingness to be in service at every point, and wisdom of sharing this teaching.  If only I could have preserved that serving to put on an alter at home, but the vision will have to suffice.

Many pockets of debris have been cleaned off the lint screen, but there are some so deep that I have no expectation of them being addressed.  One of them was the fear and disconcert that I felt in the womb of my natural mother.  I don't really have any remembrance of ever being held, tranquil, and in peace as accustomed to an unborn child floating in the warmth of amniotic fluid.  The lack has provided a strength and will to move through life, but love is a place for examination.  Sitting in the unwavering flood of love from Gurudev has shifted the possibilities, but how to let go of the root.

Just leave it to meditative creativity.  While sitting in the stillness, a sense of fluid tranquility began washing over me. The sense of floating in a womb with solitude, but not aloneness presented itself.  I was relaxing into this beautiful state and experiencing no need for fear or disconcertedness.  This state was a marvel in itself, but the imagery grew and the womb became part of Gurudev.  Men obviously don't have wombs, but the day before, we had been discussing the various roles he plays as father, mother, uncle, teacher etc.  It was a little bit startling, but I took it as a symbolic placement and then the imagery shifted to Mary (Mother of Jesus Christ) as the holder of the womb and onto the holder for all of humanity.

I have been sitting with this for several days.  An imagery beyond, the beyond for me.  So incredibly personal, but at the same time so universal, healing the past and tying it to the truth of all humans at the deepest level. The Oneness.

Pranam to the Perfect Master. (Is the offering of an extended moment of gratitude and humility ever enough?)

Never Satisfied

Am I seeing the job of the ego more clearly?  It appears to disturb us, so we are never still or satisfied. Yes, that ultimately leads us back to Source, but it is jumping, poking, quipping all along the way.  While experiencing high voltage bliss instead, do I surrender to it and follow the path of what fractured the high voltage pain?  Let go, but I have been caught off guard by this new state. Before, it has been in smaller chunks of time--apparently a preview?  The ego lies waiting, judging, and criticizing.  It is holding my hand in darkness and in light.  Why would I expect it to be any different, since I am learning that it is one and the same.

Ramakrishna  "To what degree we have succeeded in turning our mind to God so that, as a result, our whole life is transformed--this should be the criterion of judging our spiritual progress.  These are the real characteristics--the ones that have a permanent effect upon our life. Physical characteristics alone are not sufficient.  This should always be remembered."

Shri Ramakrishna and His Gospel
pg. 128

Two Faucets

"Respect and love"  Gurudev.

Two states of contact to the Divine.  After sitting with this, it feels like two faucets.  When I came to India, I had the respect faucet turned on immediately and it shared its' stream with fear (some inherent immense respect.)   The love faucet was on, but with a limited flow--discernment and caution were mixed in that stream.  With the immersion in the teachings, the respect faucet is ongoing and the fear is complete respect for the radiance, power, beauty, and truth of what Is.  The big shift is the love faucet, it is gushing and wants to be free at a point that could be flooding.  The increment of fear is now observing the immensity of this love--mine instead of Gurudev's or the Divine Genealogy.

What a teaching to observe the light of Gurudev merged with a mala that will find its way to a man on death row who has converted to Buddhism during his incarceration.  It was a request from a messenger and he obliged. A small window into the principle that all is One.  The uncontrolleable tears were set into motion

As the little white puppy jumped out of the junk car and landed on the ground, the layers of baby fat wiggled and rolled as it shook itself off.  Quite innocently it trotted off across the busy street with no thought of suicide.  The innocence and trust was startling in contrast to what looked like the inevitable. When to act and when to pray?

Next the Master says:  "There are certain characteristics of God-vision.  One sees light, feels joy, and experiences the upsurge of a great current in one's chest, like the bursting of a rocket."
(Ramakrishna and His Gospel)
I thought I was being prepped for Christmas as a lighted Christmas tree.

Apology

The Ramakrishna books are answering all the questions that I have asked Gurudev over the almost two years of knowing him, so I apologized for the redundancy.  He replied, "No, no," that I was in a different place of understanding and now the teachings from the Ramakrishna books can go deeper.  He explained that both levels of teaching are invaluable for my development.

One other question:  Is the ego the only thing that stands in the way of speaking or hearing the truth?  Anyone with any level of education will have an ego/pretty much anyone in a body will need to have an ego to survive, but observing and regulating one's egos will go a long ways towards a straighter path to the truth and self realization. 

Haircut Day For The Ashram Tree

" The thing is, the results is what counts.  It will not do if we judge a tree from its appearance, we should judge it by its fruit."  "...and that too, by its best fruit."

Ramakrishna

Sri Ramakrishna and His Gospel

No Matter How Crazy..

Can I just keep the mantra going "Divine Soup, Divine Soup" no matter how crazy it gets?Ramakrishna teachings and Gurudev's feet are the Palm Trees in the hurricane right now.  While digesting the Soup, I got a glimmer of some new state of inner peace.  It feels like new growth in the Ancient Forest--so fragile, but sensed and observed.  My goodness there is a long road ahead, but so much gratitude for what distance that has been traveled.

Next test, keep an eye on the spot of light, try to go straight, keep the faith, head up, and know there is something beyond, have no expectations, no attachments, and dive.  

Soup Served

Ashram flower

We all have turning points in our lives.  Yesterday's offering of everything was a turning point.  A willingness to go to "zero" for the path to the Divine.  It was an internal offering.  No words and only an internal dialogue for whomever or whatever needed to hear it.  In 12 hours there was a start of a response.

In the course of having my astrology examined, I didn't have any questions, since the experience was new and I didn't know what kind of questions that I could ask.  Yesterday, I had wiped the slate clean regarding knowing the future,  I am living in the present, and I already know the past, so Gurudev created a list of questions for me.  Based on our time together, he created a list asking my future involvement with spirituality, how I will be in service, and what direction my life might be headed.  He summed up all my beliefs, my process (blogging included), my intentions, and willingness to be an instrument.

To hear the manifesto of who one is from the mouth of a Divine Being is stunning.   I have always felt like an alien, so to experience being known, heard, understood, and accepted to the deepest part of what I could experience--another turning point.

It felt like I was being handed a bowl of Divine Soup.  There was no taste, smell, or texture, but it was of the most exquisite nature.