Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Walking Endlessly

Where I live for now...
My heart continues to shatter.  Submerged in so much passion and love at times that it is painful.  A difference is being in an environment that is pristine and beautiful, but not always receptive to the depth of Absolute Truth and Love.  Sitting at the ashram was like the magic box that opened my heart to a new capacity of being.  There was a gentle (and sometimes explosive) coaxing involved by the concentrated, energetics of the Divine Geneaology--an invitation to wade into the depths of the ocean.  Now, I feel the desire to wade, but the container appears more limiting.  Is this yet another point of attachment that will organically find its end?  At some point, I won't need the container encouraging me to let go?

There are moments that are showing me this and one was while sitting with the soul of one of the aging horses who is probably coming to a closure of his lifetime.  The horses continue to teach me.  They are like giant, four legged balls of unedited love who have no restriction in offering or receiving--no scratchiness.  He showed me the depth of my new state and how humans often pull away or create some form of protection.  Now I see more clearly the state of scratchiness from both sides of the fence--mine and others.

The exploration of this is beginning.  It feels overwhelming, out of control, and remarkably vulnerable at times, so when it is flaring up like a fire, I take a little time out to acknowledge it and let it run its course.


Anonymous said...

I think you are where you are meant to be right now. It seems somehow right that you and the old horse were there for each other at this time. Not sure why but this post really touched me. Glad that for right now your path has led back to horses.

Susan said...

I am not sure if the contact is somehow repairing the gaping hole I was experiencing while leaving the horse world for some answers in South Africa/India or showing me a new path. It got deeper, so I felt compelled to create a blog just in honor of Aspen. I do love the horses and the people who love/respect them--then it is beautiful. Nothing to run from now since it is all part of the Divine. The horse list is growing on its own--giggle. Thank you for sharing your experience of the blog.