Thursday, March 21, 2013

Hairball 101

The magic of rainy days.  The next day is so fresh, the grass appreciated the drink, the sun is warming the Earth, and the gentle breeze reminds us of the invisible forces at work. Sigh, my current duties include babysitting horses while they eat grass which also supports reflection and meditation. 

Since the wheel of life stopped at the horse world, I see that the circle is complete now.  The questions I had when I left for South Africa a little over two years ago have been answered.  The little bit of riding and teaching that I have been engaging in have shown me where I am on the path of horses and I feel at peace with what I know and don't know now.  The irony is that the two years away from the horses have answered my questions that I had with horses.  I needed to be able to go deeper in my own truth, so I could match or "exceed" their point of stillness.  I had somehow lost that in the process of technically learning how to train them.  My teachers never seemed to miss it, so it was not supported and nurtured.  As a three year old sitting under the horses in the field, I was probably the closest to their stillness point.  Somewhere in the technical advancement, my soul began to cry out over this gap between technical and heart truth. 

As I reflect on this awareness, the tears arise. I experienced a beautiful set of images in a recent meditation; it started with a side view of my head in its current very short hair status, then Gurudev sitting in lotus position arose in my left eye, and the third image was a galloping horse with all only its heart and arteries highlighted in red.  The vibrational impact was that of sitting at the ashram, but with the "three photo" slide show.  It felt like the knitting together of all that has transpired in my 48 years of this lifetime--neatly and succinctly underscored. 

Part of this vibrational alignment has involved coughing up hairballs.  The exterior removal of mud and lint has migrated to a deeper action of coughing up bits and pieces of very deep history and beliefs.  There is a sense of inner purification and clearing as the perceived disconnect is digested and let go of.  They are veils as well, but inner veils.  Amazing to experience how committed the self is to a continued process of removing the obscurations of True Nature. 

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