Removal Of The Exoskeleton

The points of "extreme" surrender appear to be the acid washing of the lint screen rather than just taking the garden hose to it.  Another noticeable adjustment to what has unfolded is the alignment to truth in the spoken and written word. I have always been truthful, but somehow the refinement of the truth-meter has created a greater awareness of resonance in every point of communication--or in more simplistic terms, I appear to be holding myself accountable at a more refined level.

One of the recent energetic experiences was as if the grace was raining down from the sky in a penetrating deluge--the dump trucks already appear to be outdated.

I have had the urge to revisit my singing phobia as a way to challenge my "letting go"/operation without judgement/ego in an area that has a lot of history.  While I was trying it out, I recognized that I was holding back and separating from the commitment to the sound, but when I aligned to the vibration it produced a stream of tears that isn't very useful for creating sound.  It was as if I had debrided my entire physical being and now outwardly I was exposed as my inner truth.  Sort of like the shrimp and turtles in the BP oil spill who now have no exoskeleton, but without the environmental impact.  A new state of being is somehow unfolding.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/07/bp-oil-spill-photos-greenpeace_n_1495740.html

To My Knees In Surrender

It is always about facing the internal fire.  No running away, closing the door, or disregarding something that is touching my heart so deeply--the animal world.  How many times do I need to circle back to this spot without a solution?  At a point of absolute surrender, not unlike the states of pre-fracturing, I entered the stillness.  From the stillness came Selfseeds.  I had been mentally moving it in the direction of purely the humans in search of personal management, but why not let it sprout in the equestrian realm.  The place it grew out of and see what happens.  An offering to be of service in some capacity.  It is Sue who is being resistant--not my heart and soul.

(Just finished this video introducing the Selfseeds program before I dove into the stillness.)

32:44

Selfseeds introducing the program www.S…

Pulled Into The Pain Center Again

The pain from the horse/animal world drove me to look for answers with the two-leggeds.  I have more understanding and compassion now, but realize it is still an insane/unconscious world that I won't be fixing anytime soon.  Continuing to work with the less than square-atom of real estate that I take up, but less and less desire to step back into the animal world.  I ran across another Totilas story that is very close to home and I realized that I have lost my momentum for swimming upstream against the stream of unconsciousness around animals without a voice.  I can do my part by being conscious in the areas that I touch directly, but does that really mean living and breathing it?  It feels like a bit of a break to just deal with the insanity of the two-legged world minus the animals.  The "no" column is getting clearer.  Teaching would be the only way it could make sense if I was meant to stay linked.  I have been examining my potential separation from the horse community from many angles.  Something is starting to shift at a very, very deep level--the place where I experience the penetration of Absolute Love.

Selfseeds Personalize 5 Walking at Bodega Bay (short video) www.Selfseeds.com

0:45

Selfseeds Personalize 5 Bodega Bay (sho…

Another Walk With Bhavani

Bhavani is healing well and getting A+'s from her physical therapist.  Views from a local walk.  How amazing:  sand, beaches, bay, ocean, rocks, wind, trees, flowers, and a friend.

Pacific Ocean

(Relative to the ancient trees in Vrindavan?)

Bodega Bay

Perfect weather for kite flying

A Different View

View from the second floor--early morning

View of the house from the backyard

Yet another adventure.  House-sitting is always an adventure and it was lovely to experience such beauty in the landscape, quietness of a house without neighbors, and the animals.  I was reminded of their communication from within, (no words needed), unconditional love, and connection to presence.  I now understand why Gurudev kept making reference to the remarkable teaching that came from living and listening to the animal world.  At this point, I still feel drawn to take a continued break from the horse training world and explore more deeply this new awareness of the Divine.

As I retrace my earlier path, meet with friends/relatives, and open to the new unfolding, I marvel at the inner freedom and change in capacity for compassion, patience, and stillness.  There is no need to run, hide, or retreat when recognizing that all is part of the One. While being with this new capacity, I continue to open and trust the unknown and the not knowing.  The vastness is staggering and creates a giggle to ripple through me at the thought that I was "in control."

Garden beauty

  

Vast Differences In Houses

House/Animal Sitting in a house were the drawers close themselves and I turned on the heated floor while looking for the light switch.  The views are remarkable too.  There are Canadian Geese, deer, and bobcats instead of elephants, camels, and mongoose. The house animals have been meditating with me.  Their simple presence is so lovely--no lint.  They are always setting an example.  Remarkable shakti at times.  Do you think the Divine plays with us as rag dolls sometimes?