Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Straddling Rejection

To return to the place of the deepest walk.
As the last details are put into place before departing again, I reflect on what is a "trouble area" within my walk:  to receive without giving, without owing, without a string attached, without a point of rejection.  How to receive for just the sake of?  When will I stop looking and waiting for the rejection?  I was born into rejection.  It is still my deepest thread.  Trusting the formless is the easiest.  Trusting animals is easy. Trusting friends and family are a work in progress. Rejection is the known and a clear point to operate from.  Love, kindness, and giving are attached to the unknown. There are no edges. No edges is not safe unless it is in the container of Absolute Limitlessness.

Cracks are forming in my belief system as friends and family are kind, generous, and loving.  Another reason to make a trip to the surrender pile is developing. But what to take?

No comments: