Day-To-Day

I know where to go to bask in the intensity of the inner flame, but my sense is that my true stabilization of the inner state will come through discovering Divinity in my day-to-day practice. There are openings and there are obscurations. Looking at the open sky has been a lovely touchstone. Immersing myself in the state of presence while training the horses is another. My seeking, wandering nature has been a useful part of the path, but I see that there is a letting go of yet another layer and to place it on a shelf if and when it is needed.

What would it be like to settle into daily life for a while? Sleeping, exercising, eating, and inward awareness are a constant no matter where I stay now. Why does my mind search for more? I have a wonderful place to live, a job I enjoy, an income, grocery store/gym/gas station less then 5 minutes  walking from where I live, and adding a horse of my own again, up to 9 miles running...

The emotional outburst of the human condition is a clear aspect of scratchiness and the effect is becoming less and less disturbing. I am trying to use the state of respect, love, stillness, and gratitude that I have while in Gurudev's presence in my day-to-day life. I have had a few good opportunities to take action unskillfully, but waiting to respond until I found this peaceful state has allowed for harmony and grace to unfold.

Tears arise as I type and touch the history and path of the blog. I have wondered if I am becoming stagnant and complacent in my spiritual growth, because I am not siting in the ashram. Now I sense the steady capacity building while living in a low abrasive environment. Pain and scratchiness have been very useful, but time to place them on the shelf as a requirement for doing the work. Living is doing the work and it doesn't have to be more.

Learning so much from the students I am teaching. They have been given a lot of information that obstructs the harmony with their horse partners. Fun to help deconstruct the scaffolding. Maybe I will write a book on deconstructing the myths in dressage. Will be looking at the hard copy sample of the first book, "Seeing Through The Eyes Of The Horse", on Saturday.  (Team Takao!!!! Thank you!!!)

No Rest In The West Now

I had been reflecting on the Saint who lives on a street in India. At the time, he was with a dog. While driving through Southern California there was a man who lives on the street and he had spilled a sack of crushed aluminum cans on the crosswalk. He was kneeling on the ground trying to pick them up as cars whizzed by. I slowed down to see if he needed help and our eyes locked with such clarity. It was a very similar feeling as the Saint in India. Who is to say, but it stirred something very deep within me. The truth of who we are and the interconnectedness regardless of the outer trappings.

I now see the wasteland within the Garden of Eden. I have gratitude for the abundance, but witnessing the level that the elite can turn a blind eye to the global conditions is stunning. With show horses, I am in service to this layer of the community. The people are often nice, polite, and pleasant, but the conditions are surreal. Large gated communities with watered landscape, extensive polo fields, and irrigated pastures while living in the middle of a desert. Technology supports and prevails. The veneer of the material world continues to crack as I walk in the insanity plan. The overlooked man on the street or a multi-million dollar gated housing community; zero to one hundred. It is not only in India.

Reflecting on the emptiness of the Taj Mahal versus the beauty of a sincere devotee at the feet of Gurudev. To be aware of the truth while the dream screen unfolds. I was in gratitude for the rawness of what I experienced in India, now I have gratitude for understanding the emptiness of abundance. The path inward is unrelenting. No rest in the West now. The sense of madness is returning, but I know it is only part of the transition as more scaffolding drops away. Riding and teaching is a nice distraction from the madness.  

Another Side Of Knowing

The path doesn't end with getting to know the Self. Then one begins to relearn the outer world from a different perspective. One wants to yell, "Can't you see how simple it really is!" But few know what you are talking about. The only direction to turn is inward--yet again. There is nothing in the exterior world that is satisfying for the soul--only God. I just want a few to play with in the sandbox, but there are only moments of the shared energetic aliveness. I renounced the horse world to start the journey in India and now I see that it isn't something to reattach to, but to do. 

"Seeing Through The Eyes Of The Horse"

I didn't expect to end up where I left off in horse training quite so quickly--in just three weeks. The modern style of training for competition creates tension in the poll (point between the ears at the top of the horse's head) by the force of the bit, rider's pulling hands, and driving seat for leverage. It creates headaches, nerve damage, muscle damage, and more for the horse. It was part of why I was giving up riding. Now I have techniques for helping to change the tension point, but sometimes the damage is too severe. To make a change, one needs to tactfully deconstruct the tension which requires trust and willingness on the horse's part. The horse is particularly vulnerable during this transition point, as in the case of people healing from a health condition or overcoming an addiction. A heavy handed, unconscious rider can send the horse right back into tension. This appears to be my cause for the moment: decontraction and mobilization of the horses.

It is providing an insight into the path of service for the sake of serving. My passion for riding and horses keeps me moving towards the flame from the exterior world, while the inner state feels like a place of quiet, energized spaciousness that is nurtured by God consciousness. It all feels surreal somehow, but the horse's are visibly relieved.

Daily life is such a profound teacher.

(Takao is doing such an amazing job on the first book, "Seeing Through The Horse's Eyes" Bonus, he has agreed to transform the second one as well "My Heart, My Horse")

Personal Seedbed

Walking path along the canal-West

http://veda.wikidot.com/katha-upanishad-eknath
(Thank you Bhavani!)

We live not by the breath that flows in 
And flows out, but by him who causes the breath
To flow in and flow out

East

The beauty of water in all forms

The early morning walks allow the Voice to speak and point out concepts to share, homework assignments, and of course the touchstone to the living awareness of Oneness. While sitting quietly, walking quietly, and observing quietly the tears are ever present as a connection to the beauty of this inner state. It knows no geographic boundaries now. 

Riding ten or so horses a day is part of the spiral staircase to observe the preparation these magical animals provided for my inner awareness and longing for the Self to grow--my personal seedbed. 

Convenience Factor

Cool place to live with a beautiful backyard, five minutes from work, the gym, and shopping. The flow is awesome. I always marvel at the convenience factor living in the U.S. Amazing help to get the books self published. Checked in on friends. Unpacked photos of Gurudev--the uncontrollable flow of tears. Grace.

Walking At Home

Bodega Bay, CA

Santa Rosa, CA

Jenner, CA (sea lions)

       Man is the most egoistic being in creation. He keeps himself veiled from God, the perfect Self within, by the veil of his imperfect self, which has formed his false ego. ... and when the ego is absolutely crushed, then God remains within and without, in both planes, and none exists save He.

       Part of Bowl of Saki, May 2, by Hazrat Inayat Khan