The Hum...

Learning about living in snow. 

Light snow, so I don't have to worry about my car freezing...

Getting back from the incubator of India is always a transition and a let's better understand what is different. I go without any expectation of change, but always come away with some gift/grace of deeper understanding/awareness.

Now, I am with my horses in Arizona and the weather has limited work, so it is a remarkable time for silence, stillness, and reflection. As I deal with settling into a room, getting food, sorting out the life program for the horses, organizing year end taxes, and life stuff, I am aware of a hum.

The hum is a sense of G.O.D. that is ever present as a backbone to my life actions. Having two major life obstacles fall off my obscuration list, the hum is recognizable. Instead of it as a concept of awareness, it feels like a state of awareness. This trip to India, I felt like I shifted from an awareness of inner peace to being in a stream of inner peace. The hum appears to be part of experiencing a different frequency of awareness. As a child, I heard a voice and felt a presence. Until Gurudev mentioned it several years ago, I had forgotten about it. I called it the alien as an adult.

When I got to Arizona, I decided to take off striving, goals, and so on that support material based living. It lives as a neon light in America. It appears as a layer intrinsic to life. I like to work and plan on working until I drop dead, but the shift is in relationship to the idea. As a scientist, I view all the trips with the wheelbarrow to the surrender pile as part of a science experiment. The volume of the hum is new.

It is funny how I continue to blog and write about all of this. The transition from sensing to words appears to be useful in my digestion and meditation--just like walking.

Horses are in the barn as the snow falls, so paddocks are empty.

Wild Burros

Burros are part of the adoption program. Balance of land management involves the number of animals grazing and drinking, so the plants, water holes, and environment are not destroyed. The desert is fragile in its toughness and not easily renewed if depleted. Horses and burros are captured and sent to domestic environments. Helping wild horses and burros in a transition is a specialized type of work. 

"Wild Horses"

Sitting in the ashram is a particular, remarkable space and felt sense. Standing in natural light with a herd of my favorite animals is a personalized version. 

Animals Sharing The Path

Elegant

Blending in 

Napping in the shade of the tree

Three friends growing up together

Napping with part of the food chain

Lunch bucket use of newly added garbage receptacles.

Journey with the animals is a significant part of my path. 

Layers

Always feels like grace to ask questions and receive answers from Gurudev.

The path of True Path?

Found a new path. Nice timing!

Where is the path taking me now after a massive check mark by the animal conundrum that led me to India in the Spring of 2011? It was confirmed that I should stay on the horse/animal path as long as I am physically able. It is clear that I am an ever evolving human with plenty of homework. Since the animals have brought me the greatest point of pain for diving into the spiritual path, I was relieved to be through the apparent severest part of that chapter of teachings, but what was going to be the next massive stick to forever keep me humble and on the path with complete sincerity and integrity to the work.

For some steeped in spirituality, the answer was probably apparent. For some one like me who grabbed a hold of the spiritual path to find answers and survive life on the planet, it wasn't immediate.

Less then 24 hours of uncertainty, a VERY CLEAR answer unfolded. Humility becomes a very important life raft for self examination and process orientation through daily life. The Guru (living or dead) can provide a piercing quality that probably is only truly understood from personal experience. Beings who know what this is first hand, most likely have his or her personal version, but it is unique. Today, I got a reminder of how deep that piercing can be. I live a very amazing life globally with outstanding natural work places, really cool animals, friends wherever I land, good health, abundance, and more.

BUT, a glance, a brief stare, an exchange or whatever can knock you to your spiritual knees. In my case, I experience it as having an ice pick jammed into my heart. I know the drill now and just wait patiently while something shifts. Often lost in a state of frozen intoxication. I don't seem to need to be completely submerged by blacking out now. Maybe because I accept it and don't have fear? Way beyond my pay grade to truly understand.

The ashram is a great place to have this experience, since people appear to recognize when you are frozen that it isn't strange and to work around you. Also, wonderful to be with the Divine Genealogy and a living Guru, so there are all hands on deck. Part of this usually involves, uncontrollable tears of gratitude from the deepest trap door I appear to have internally. Beyond the door, emotions don't really exist. This state is yet another layer that words are limiting.

It felt like the first day of the path of spirituality.  The path of the True Path? The path of living for the sake of spirituality vs. a life line of spirituality leading me along a path. The conveyor belt with my shoe lace is still running, but in a new way. Path as seeker appears to be shifting to path as server. I never will have all the answers about the spiritual path, but enough appears to have been exposed that my relationship to the path is changing. Now, it is vast, expansive, and without edges. That section of the path has been living in a box of awareness like a remarkable companion. Bread crumb trail is gone. All is The Path.

Of course, I have no idea what the translation is going to be and recognize that isn't my job either.  Words are limiting, but they appear to be part of my journey through this electronic diary. There wasn't a memo to stop. So let's see what unfolds? GRACE! Pranam! The weight of the stick is equally vast, expansive, and without edges.

Massive Test Of My Inner State

Beauty enhancement

Remarkable clip job

Contemplating herd management

Sea of camels

Camel caravan rides

Equipment options

Leading

Birth

Crowd favorite

Lunch snack

Wonderment of all the animal variations at the Regional fair. I have had trepidation to attend this for years, since the animals are such a trigger point for me. Felt like today would be a progress check for how much or how little my attachment has progressed. Significant progress. Could take it all in without emotional devastation. Destiny and design playing out for all of us.

So Much To Experience

Everyday is a running stream of activity. The contrast between the inner stillness at the ashram and walking on the roads is always almost a point of humor. The ashram isn't really quiet either, but there is a remarkable energetic texture. I do wonder at times how I ended up here and how does the essence of my being fit, but the gratitude and ongoing work is enough to know in the mystery. Grace. Year eight.