me to Me

Guidance

After the basics of the me requirements are met (nourishment, shelter, and safety) what is important? The journey of the Me. Me is the extension to the Oneness with consciousness. It is the part that is crying out for the scaffolding to be shifted, so liberation can unfold. Sitting every morning is helping me to recognize the priority list. Almost six years ago, the me was in agony and looking for something else. The something else is the Oneness, but the points of separation continue to need pairing back, adjusting, and letting go.

Service to the Oneness helps me to see the limits of my design, history, and mode of operation. It is all about deconstructing patterns. The work with the horses has always shown me this. Deconstructing their mind, body, and energy patterns allows them to return to the peace of grazing state while in a human environment. Learning to help horses at a trigger point level has made this more clear.

Am I any different? No. Grace of the homework assignments. Awareness of the Oneness in deep meditation has exposed me to the True Nature of Me. Shifting back into the outer construction is the reflection of how separated I am, but now I can live with the unwavering contact to the deeper awareness while moving about in the outer reality television program as an actor. A lot of time alone to sit in stillness and contemplation is fortifying my practice to stay in awareness while living as an actor. Abundance with health, wealth, and quality of life is minimizing the outer distractions, so I can focus on the depth.

Guidance

Homework Clarification

Santa Barbara, California

I have been sitting in stillness every morning. Moving from this point on to work has been a different point of integration and study then going from stillness out into local India. Opening to the depth while living in the West. The "buzz" of the spiritual realm is always present, but adding depth development on a daily basis is new. It provides a stronger fortification to live by the principles of Absolute Love and Truth. Thoughts and actions not in alignment are more quickly identified and redirected. Grace. My latest homework assignment is taking on new meaning and new passion. Walking with less and less scaffolding, but it is an adjustment. Thank you Wise Woman of the West for clarification and link to the bigger picture.

Another point of clarification has been the diversity of how we practice and what we experience during our practice. Gurudev had suggested a homework focus, but carefully explained that the manifestation of it would be unique to me. When I talk to people who have spiritual practices, it triggers some questioning of my own practice or lack of practice. I try to walk the talk and practice every minute that I am awake, but I don't have a practice with a mantra, string of beads, candle, etc. All steps or bread crumbs? Nothing needed if nothing is needed? Okay, so back to sitting and letting whatever wants to unfold or however. Discernment between the ego and the official downloads.

The view out one of my windows.

Two-legged Study

The inner stillness is pointing towards opening more fully to the study of two-leggeds. They have always been a part of my life study, but the opening to the individual stories and cross-referencing to what I have been learning is taking on a new intensity. It is continuing to shift the scratchiness by  reducing the points of separation, intensifying the inclusivity, and continuing to open my heart in a way that is guided from a new well. 

Holy Hell

Holly Hell, the name of a documentary recently released that covers over twenty years of an American spiritual center that was guided by a narcissistic, porn star posing as a guru. The people who were attending the center as disciples were often loving, service oriented, and looking for inner peace. People sometimes wonder if I am involved with a cult where I will eventually be asked to drink Koolaide of some sort. I was waiting too for the first three years, but I now know that the path isn’t about someone or some “thing."

The new homework assignment is making me more acutely aware of the vast scale of where people live from interiorly. If Gurudev hadn’t gently been encouraging me to G.O.D., I would be overwhelmed and stymied by what I am glimpsing, yet there still is no going back. Taking the steps I know from the past six years, I put one foot in front of the other, live in alignment to the shifting inner awareness, self talk “Bring it on!”, and embrace the uniqueness of it all.

Working on offering Selfseeds to school children. New territory, but remarkable to look at planting a seed, empowering youth, and support growth. Getting a lot of support from the Universe.

Selfseeds for the Equestrian is unfolding nicely as well. Looking at launching it in New Zealand and Hungary.

Nador is doing great and I am having a ball being part of his growth.

The weather in the desert is lovely. The people from Canada are starting to migrate here.

Next Stop

Colorado

Utah

The work in India has already been put to the test in the West. Awesome to feel the place of inner peace as a reflex instead of an effort in a shift. Plenty to do and looking forward to diving into this next homework assignment.

The drive from Colorado to Southern California was beautiful. Nador is transported in two days. The work with Selfseeds was transformative for the facilitators as well as the participants. A new door is opening.

Looking and Sensing Through The Lens

Fabric of Humanity

One of the camels

The lessons from living in such a diversity of countries has been remarkable. Like a family or friends that you don't see for a while, there is a sense of community as an individual who even just drops in yearly. This is the sixth year that I have walked the streets of Jaipur and I have a community: the bottle collectors, the Babas, the elephant people, the camel people, the school children, the shop keepers, the exercisers, the hill people, the going to work people, the road workers, the tent community, and people who just see me on a regular basis and wave.  Without the living and walking at such an intimate level (I have done this wherever I have lived...), I couldn't have gotten to know the oneness of it all. We are all just two-leggeds living out some variation of survival on the Earth.

In India, starting as a white, woman walking with a shirt that said money or sex, to a white, woman walking who is here with a spiritual intention has been a remarkable teaching. I never had an intention to fit in, I just wanted to survive, focus on my inner work in the ashram, not get sick, or be molested. To see this community grow without intention, just presence of being my self, setting boundaries, consistency, and staying the course is fascinating. It has even started to happen in Carbondale, Colorado with the pattern I have of working at two ranches, gym, coffee shop for wifi, and the grocery store. A community is started through eye contact, patience, routine, and small interactions. I think of myself as being invisible, but I am not. People are watching, assessing cues, and taking action accordingly. I am part of the community whether "invisible" or not.

Every day, four times a day, I talk to a particular camel who is tied alone. He has a very damaged nose, so I talk to him and wish him well every time I pass by. He knows my voice now and lowers his head towards me, (I don't know camel language, so I am hesitant to try and touch him), so simple. Now I better understand that it is that simple with two-leggeds as well. A head nod to the man who pushes his bike up the hill with full jugs of water while I am finishing my run down the hill. A wave to the man who drives down the hill with a loaded motorcycle of cut grass as I walk up the hill. An exchanged smile with the woman who is going about her morning chores as I walk by on the street.

Something about this new homework assignment to move more deeply inside has softened the exterior world. I have been given permission to make it my secondary focus, but still interacting from the vibration of what is growing inside. Another veil has shifted. Feeling very blessed to feel this sense of oneness from now the outside as well as the inside. Beautiful conversation about it with Gurudev and he also helped me to see the oneness of all exercise as yoga whether sitting on a mat with an awareness of breath or running up the hill with an awareness of breath. Breathing and living. More circles.

Sorting through the stream of refuse in a local waterway

Morning rituals as part of the morning fabric