Learning by inner teachings

Yesterday, I asked Gurudev if I could have permission to continue searching/deepening with him and the ashram. He had a very clear answer, yes but his pathway isn't to teach satsang in a traditional way of verbal teaching. He said Narayana and others had that pathway. I reflected a moment and realized that I am ultimately searching for what is inside of me and not what I hear and read. I started to explain this and that my presence with nature and animals has made me aware of this inner language. My search is to find this same inner peace/love/beauty within myself in any given situation that presents itself in life. I don't know if it is possible. I expressed that his presence and the ashram felt like an ideal place to grow my heart. (It made me think of the rock sugar you grow in water with a string--slowly the crystallized sugar begins to fill in around the string.) He said that is was the most true path and that teaching/learning is possible.

I also mentioned that India is hell and the ashram is the oasis. He laughed heartily and agreed. He understood that I would be returning for spirituality and not India. Although, hell is a great place to test your inner peace.