Darkness

Which is the reflection?

The Universe has such a sense of humor. Nothing like sitting in a movie theater and getting cracked wide open through the depiction of innocent love and masochistic self hatred. In principle, I had sensed the oneness of "good and bad," but I am always reluctant to put a check mark by something I haven't experienced fully. Finally, I am beginning to understand the mental construct of bad that separates one from Truth, Beauty, and Love. It was interesting perceiving something mentally repulsive at one level while simultaneously sensing a baseline texture of heartfelt bliss. Usually the two are mutually exclusive. I see that this new awareness won't limit my discernment of the outer world, but the observation won't need to stay rappelling around inside my mind and heart like the lingering aftertaste of biting into something bitter. It feels like another step in capacity building. I have been sitting with the state of the world, terrorism, national violence, local violence etc. and continuing to apply the principles of the two bucket system merged into one. Grace to have this teaching unexpectedly appear.

In principle, I will return to Modesto to train horses for a year after the two months abroad. Boxes to horses. Yet another spiral on the staircase. A two day trial of riding and training felt like a gift. To be able to play in the sandbox with horses, but with the awareness, techniques, and understanding that have been accumulating is a treat. No doubt life will continue to find me and open my heart to new depths. The conveyor belt with the shoelace is still in place.

Gurudev said to follow my heart. Number one would be to devote myself full-time to the spiritual path, but since being in the outer world appears to be a requirement for now, returning to the horses is lovely.

Poland added to the travel itinerary. Looking forward to taking pictures and sitting with the depths of people's evolution with horses.