Mind Control

2011

When I think of mind control, I use to think of me driving the mind to control, but at this point. I think it is the mind controlling me.  The mind is remarkable, but it is like the 12 headed hydra in its attempts to direct the program.  Sitting with that last massive challenge of rewiring self worth, it was clear.  When I am in that place where I am only eyeballs there is peace, but when some form of the i takes action, the slippery slope begins. Fascinating to experience the two states so clearly.  Having had a few moments where I experienced the deep meditative state while in my wake state,  it helps me to separate the different angles of operation even though it is all one--in principle.  The place of only eyeballs is all love and there are no edges and in some ways no points of separation.  The mind appears to be the observer and willing to stay sitting with hands folded while the world is moving about.  When I cross into the familiar wake state, the ego, personality, etc. are in full swing.  The story/history emerges and starts to dominate my thinking patterns and course of action--like a puppet.  Even with powerful images and vibrations appearing to console my heart and show we the deepest truth of Absolute Love and Truth, the mind can push them aside, since it has run the show for so long. At least this is my experience of the process, but I would guess there are many, many other systems.

No doubt I will periodically fall and have to get up and dust myself off or put a bandaid on a skinned knee, but for now, it is lovely to start cracking the hard protective shell of not loving my self or rather not being love.

As always, the village of horses, humans, nature, and more have supported my growth and lint removal.  Thank you is never enough to say or write.  Gurudev and the Ashram are the blast furnace to help ignite the potential and to help get it rolling, but being far removed from that physically really tests the progression.  More of the mind creating separation, since my heart behind the eyes knows otherwise. Pranam.