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| A final medical exam to determine that euthanasia is the most humane next step. |
Remarkable how death can be such a profound teacher. Sitting with Aspen in his final days allowed me to experience my old felt connection to horses and the new felt connection to the Divine. They weren't so different--one was in a brown, four legged container and the other had no container.
There was a moment in the decision making of his final days that I needed to be clear within myself while playing the role of Dr. Kavorkean. It needed to feel as clear and full of love as any decision could or had ever felt. The owner was in a space reminiscent of my pre-India state and was trying to get me to step around this new point of source connection that I am operating from now. I was sobbing and an emotional wreck, but it was from the point of being asked to separate from Absolute Truth and Love. No, I couldn't go back to putting that mantel on even if it meant losing one of my dearest friends. The construction was developed in India, but now it was being put to the test in my old, familiar world. I had often felt this anguish before, but I had insufficient tools and no other path to follow. It was a point of intense surrender to what action would manifest from sitting at this point of truth as an action. Same country, same horses, but a VERY different reference point. Was this a profound moment of truly being the instrument?
24 hours later:
There was a moment in the decision making of his final days that I needed to be clear within myself while playing the role of Dr. Kavorkean. It needed to feel as clear and full of love as any decision could or had ever felt. The owner was in a space reminiscent of my pre-India state and was trying to get me to step around this new point of source connection that I am operating from now. I was sobbing and an emotional wreck, but it was from the point of being asked to separate from Absolute Truth and Love. No, I couldn't go back to putting that mantel on even if it meant losing one of my dearest friends. The construction was developed in India, but now it was being put to the test in my old, familiar world. I had often felt this anguish before, but I had insufficient tools and no other path to follow. It was a point of intense surrender to what action would manifest from sitting at this point of truth as an action. Same country, same horses, but a VERY different reference point. Was this a profound moment of truly being the instrument?
24 hours later:
In the arranging of his final details, his state of being created an opportunity for three of us to share in his Divine Nature as a part of our own inner nature. The conversation moved onto the Pahari Baba Ashram/Gurudev as a place to sense this without the four legs. We were sitting in the silence of it all when the phone range with the caller informing us the truck would arrive in the morning for his final transition from the body. It too was a shared moment that felt like an electrical bolt striking through us all--the experience of "living death" as an energetic texture while wide open in our hearts.
Thank you Aspen for your animal soul presence and now we hope you are in greener pastures and pain free...
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